It is said that we are all born with a natural self-esteem, but through the worlds concerns about power and control, we have been trained to worry about what others think of us and how we can please them. We have forgotten how to love ourselves and treat ourselves with respect. We are taught that loving ourselves is selfish and will only make us appear conceited, which will turn people off. If we are not allowed to learn how to love ourselves, then how can we learn to allow others to love us? We cannot feel love and positive esteem for ourselves if we focus all of it on others first. If we do, we then run the risk of offering all of our inner feelings to someone and not getting anything in return. At this point we begin to feel resentment, cheated and even lower in our ability to ever love again.
People that have scars from resentment and abuse are the hardest people to love. They have the highest low self-esteem walls to climb. In short, they are unreachable. This is not a good thing at all.
When a person says in all honesty that they are suffering from a low self-esteem issue, I take that very seriously. This is a true cry for help. They are at the bottom of their pit and are asking for help to get out. They are at a point where they will expect you to love them and take care of them as they would themselves. In other words, we all know the worst thing a person can do is expect their partner to be a mind reader. Well, when a person is suffering from a low self-esteem, trust me, they do expect just that. They will expect for you to just know what they need. They only have faith in you. They have lost faith in themselves long ago and they have no recourse. This places a very huge burden on your shoulders as their partner. This is not a good thing!
No one will ever be able to feel what another person feels inside. No one will ever be able to love another as they can love themselves. No one can read our minds. No one can do for us, what needs to be done to make us feel inner peace. It is our responsibility to ourselves to love us first. You really must know who you are to start. To be able to fulfill your needs and desires and goals in life, you need to identify with your wants. You cannot do any of this if you do not focus on you. You need to be all about you for a time. No one can do this for you, so just do it!
This is called finding your space. Your space is a very, very important place to just find yourself in peace with no distractions. Just you and your thoughts. Learning about your self-esteem also means that you must come to terms with this question, "How badly do you want to have a higher self-esteem" ? If you really want it, then you will find it. You have been trained to un-love yourself, so it is not impossible to retrain yourself to love you again. Your environment is also important in helping you feel positive vibes. For you to truly accept yourself unconditionally, you must look beyond the simple quick fix motto's that are plaguing television and magazines, such as diets that will make you a better you, or take this pill and you will be a new you. Ugh, there are so many misconceptions out there. It seriously boils down to your mind and your heart. Love yourself as you want to be loved. Love yourself as you want to love someone! Just be you! That is a very good thing!
Remember, "HABITS"? Well that's exactly what you need to do. Create loving you habits and respecting you habits. Think of it as your very first self-esteem day. You wake up, you stretch and hug your partner or just yourself. Even hugging your pillow is a good hug. You have no memory of any other feelings. You love yourself. You have no other intention but to take care of you. You look in the mirror and stick your tongue out and roll your eyes inward and smile! Smile at you because you love who you are. Ti's a very good thing to be able to smile at you for no other reason than it is good to be you!
Please do not get me wrong here. Life will still challenge you with its ups and downs. You will still have to deal with all the negative things that your day will unravel. But the difference is, you will be doing it from clear, fresh, positive self-esteem eyes. Nothing will defeat you in the end. Oh, it may give you a run for your money, but you will override all of it with your smiles and love for yourself. Imagine the confidence that will shine inside of you. Your reactions will be out of love and understanding. They will no longer be from resentment and hate. This is a good thing!
Remember also that anything worth having does not come easily. Once it has been attained or learned, it remains forever. This too is a good thing! Many women have experienced the highs and the lows of self-esteem, you are so not alone in this battle to find a better you!
To finally have the gift of self-esteem will not bring you happiness, that is something that comes after. But it will bring you a deep awareness of who you are. A new respect for you. A genuine love for yourself and the confidence to soar! Finding your self-esteem saves your world, not anyone else's. But it does give you the strength to help others to find theirs. So Ladies, please follow me into the world of a very high self esteem.