Recently a visitor to my pages asked me this question.
“I just wanted to ask a very simple question, how can we have inner peace?”
So in my simple ways, I gave him the simple answer in my response.
“To answer your question in its simplest form:
Love yourself, simplify your life, live by good beliefs and have a good attitude towards life.”
Looking back on it this may have been the simple answer, but he may have wanted more of a response.
So here is a more in depth response.
Inner peace and how to attain it in five short steps.
1.Love yourself.
Loving yourself has to do with accepting who you are, what you are and what you look like. Stop rejecting yourself and putting yourself down.
If you cannot do that for your self no one else will either. Learn to accept that you do not need to look like others, that you may not ever be able to carry a tune or to paint a masterpiece. Beauty and talent is what is inside of you. Look in the mirror and love what you see.
2.Simplify your life.
Often times unnecessary worldly possessions can cause undue stress and internal turmoil. Do you really need that new high priced auto with all the bells and whistles along with the payments that come with it? Or would a car that is two, three or more years old rally meet your needs?
Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses and you will see that your stress levels will begin to subside. Be happy with what you have.
3.Live by good beliefs.
This could be as simple as the golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”
Be fair and honest in your business deals, friendships and relationships. Do not take advantage of others.
Fix what is wrong, be honest with yourself and others.
4.Have a good attitude towards life.
Enjoy life, your family, friends and your job. Don't let the little things upset you. Put a smile on your face and the world will smile with you.
If something upsets you, try to put it into terms of how serious it really is. For example is it as serious and upsetting as having a broken arm, a black eye, losing a limb or is it really just a little bump in the road? I bet most of the things would fall under the bump in the road category.
Try the old smile again. It is hard to stay upset when you put a smile on your face :)
5.Daily motivations.
Read quotes or inspirational messages daily. Write out your own affirmations and repeat them daily.
Visit any of the hundreds of self improvement sites for great articles and information.
Practice and begin to live by these five steps and you will begin to see the emotional turmoil began to disappear and the inner peace begin to take it place.
Have a great day and best wishes in all you do,
JD
Begin Your Journey to Personal Improvement.
10 ways to start taking control
1. Take Good Care of Yourself
It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.
2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For
Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.
3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.
4. Refrain from Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.
5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it.
6. Squash the "ANTs"
In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!
7. Practice Lovin', Touchin' & Squeezin' (Your Friends and Family)
You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!
8. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!
9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.
10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination
If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented, it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.
It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.
2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For
Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.
3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.
4. Refrain from Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.
5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it.
6. Squash the "ANTs"
In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!
7. Practice Lovin', Touchin' & Squeezin' (Your Friends and Family)
You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!
8. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!
9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.
10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination
If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented, it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.
Focus on your mental and emotional side to gain self improvement
Not everyone believes this but the emotional and mental aspects of a person, when combined, leads to better self improvement.
Emotions love to dominate our actions and reactions, even though we do not want it to happen sometimes. The society often see emotions as a sign of weakness, so people are used to putting them aside and focusing on the rational aspects more and more.
No matter how strict and logical you may be, you will always feel. One way or another, someone or something will get through you.
Positive emotions are a lifelong goal for many of us concerned about emotional health and self improvement. What is more important; the amount of money you made during your life or the times you laughed out of sheer joy?
People tend to put their positive emotions behind their negative feelings. This is one of the biggest problems that people come across during their lives.
There is no clear way to ignore a negative experience and try to replace it with a positive one. Life just does not work that way.
For example, when you were a child, if your goldfish dies, you would be heartbroken. Your parents will probably buy you another goldfish but the sorrow is still there.
Things get even more complex when you become an adult. A fight with your spouse the night before will affect your entire day. You will go to work angry, tired, and your mind will wander. On the way home from work you will not notice the sun shining and you would not be tempted to stop at a roadside stand to pick up some fresh fruits and vegetables.
All this because that one negative thought has contaminated the way you perceive the reality around you.
In this moment you will realize finding a safe place to relax your mind will do wonders for your emotional and mental improvement.
That place is relatively easy to find. It can be an actual place or an imaginary location. The best idea is to totally lose yourself in it.
Let us say you have a problem on your mind and it just would not go away. Go bowling. Do not know how? Just give it a shot.
Get caught up in the game. Your mind will drift away from the negative thoughts that dominated your last hours or days and start processing a whole new kind of information.
A safe haven can take many forms. It can be a song, a movie, even a person or animal. The main thing is allow yourself to get completely involved with this new activity.
You might still get flashes of the problem every now and then. Ignore it and get even more absorbed in what you are doing.
When the bowling game, the song, or the movie ends you will abruptly return to reality. You will probably want to retreat back to the safe place. Do not do it.
The safe place exists only as a helping hand, not as a solution to your life's problems, may it be a small or big. It serves only as an escape route.
You will return from your safe zone with an increased energy level. You will feel better about yourself and gain more confidence. You will see that any issue can be resolved.
This is how a small escape from a harsh reality can increase your emotional and mental health. Try to do this often and you are on your way to better self improvement.
Emotions love to dominate our actions and reactions, even though we do not want it to happen sometimes. The society often see emotions as a sign of weakness, so people are used to putting them aside and focusing on the rational aspects more and more.
No matter how strict and logical you may be, you will always feel. One way or another, someone or something will get through you.
Positive emotions are a lifelong goal for many of us concerned about emotional health and self improvement. What is more important; the amount of money you made during your life or the times you laughed out of sheer joy?
People tend to put their positive emotions behind their negative feelings. This is one of the biggest problems that people come across during their lives.
There is no clear way to ignore a negative experience and try to replace it with a positive one. Life just does not work that way.
For example, when you were a child, if your goldfish dies, you would be heartbroken. Your parents will probably buy you another goldfish but the sorrow is still there.
Things get even more complex when you become an adult. A fight with your spouse the night before will affect your entire day. You will go to work angry, tired, and your mind will wander. On the way home from work you will not notice the sun shining and you would not be tempted to stop at a roadside stand to pick up some fresh fruits and vegetables.
All this because that one negative thought has contaminated the way you perceive the reality around you.
In this moment you will realize finding a safe place to relax your mind will do wonders for your emotional and mental improvement.
That place is relatively easy to find. It can be an actual place or an imaginary location. The best idea is to totally lose yourself in it.
Let us say you have a problem on your mind and it just would not go away. Go bowling. Do not know how? Just give it a shot.
Get caught up in the game. Your mind will drift away from the negative thoughts that dominated your last hours or days and start processing a whole new kind of information.
A safe haven can take many forms. It can be a song, a movie, even a person or animal. The main thing is allow yourself to get completely involved with this new activity.
You might still get flashes of the problem every now and then. Ignore it and get even more absorbed in what you are doing.
When the bowling game, the song, or the movie ends you will abruptly return to reality. You will probably want to retreat back to the safe place. Do not do it.
The safe place exists only as a helping hand, not as a solution to your life's problems, may it be a small or big. It serves only as an escape route.
You will return from your safe zone with an increased energy level. You will feel better about yourself and gain more confidence. You will see that any issue can be resolved.
This is how a small escape from a harsh reality can increase your emotional and mental health. Try to do this often and you are on your way to better self improvement.
Impossible is Just a Word
Everyone, at some point of his or her life, has dreamed of being somebody special, somebody big. Who hasn't fantasized about being the one who hits the game-winning homer? Who hasn't dreamed of being the homecoming queen? And how many times have we dreamed of being rich, or successful, or happy with our relationships?
Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic.
This is a sad turn of events in our life. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.
But you know what? Life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.
The most common problem to setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can't do this. It's too hard. It's too impossible. No one can do this.
However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.
Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumble, bee no one has told it so. So fly it does.
On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations.
If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.
Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that that are ‘impossible for you to do.’
Now look at all the headers strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the other header-the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’
As of the items you wrote under things I could do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are under things that are ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do.’
As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. And the impossible begin to seem possible after all.
You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high, and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic.
Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned.
On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now realities.
Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Nothing could be truer. For one to accomplish his or her dreams, there has to be had work and discipline. But take note that that 1% has to be a think-big dream, and not some easily accomplished one.
Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain”? That is as true as it can be.
So dream on, friend! Don’t get caught up with your perceived limitations. Think big and work hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will just about find out that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible.
Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic.
This is a sad turn of events in our life. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.
But you know what? Life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.
The most common problem to setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can't do this. It's too hard. It's too impossible. No one can do this.
However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.
Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumble, bee no one has told it so. So fly it does.
On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations.
If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.
Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that that are ‘impossible for you to do.’
Now look at all the headers strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the other header-the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’
As of the items you wrote under things I could do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are under things that are ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do.’
As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. And the impossible begin to seem possible after all.
You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high, and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic.
Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned.
On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now realities.
Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Nothing could be truer. For one to accomplish his or her dreams, there has to be had work and discipline. But take note that that 1% has to be a think-big dream, and not some easily accomplished one.
Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain”? That is as true as it can be.
So dream on, friend! Don’t get caught up with your perceived limitations. Think big and work hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will just about find out that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible.
Life is About Choices and the Decisions We Make
Life is like a road. There are long and short roads; smooth and rocky roads; crooked and straight paths. In our life many roads would come our way as we journey through life. There are roads that lead to a life of single blessedness, marriage, and religious vocation. There are also roads that lead to fame and fortune on one hand, or isolation and poverty on the other. There are roads to happiness as there are roads to sadness, roads towards victory and jubilation, and roads leading to defeat and disappointment.
Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad. With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?
There are no guarantees.
You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent. There are too many possible outcomes, which your really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you would act and react to different situations.
Wrong decisions are always at hindsight.
Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one. It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong.
Take the risk: decide.
Since life offers no guarantee and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well take the risk and decide. It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, moreover open more roads. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveler or an accidental tourist of life. But take caution that you do not make decisions haphazardly. Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid. Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option in the face of life’s crossroads:
. Get as many information as you can about your situation.
You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.
· Identify and create options.
What options do the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end.
· Weigh the pros and cons of every option.
Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of such an option.
· Trust yourself and make that decision.
Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always at hindsight. So choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.
Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life. Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.
Just like any road, there are corners, detours, and crossroads in life. Perhaps the most perplexing road that you would encounter is a crossroad. With four roads to choose from and with limited knowledge on where they would go, which road will you take? What is the guarantee that we would choose the right one along the way? Would you take any road, or just stay where you are: in front of a crossroad?
There are no guarantees.
You do not really know where a road will lead you until you take it. There are no guarantees. This is one of the most important things you need to realize about life. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad, especially if you are highly qualified and competent. There are too many possible outcomes, which your really cannot control. The only thing you have power over is the decisions that you will make, and how you would act and react to different situations.
Wrong decisions are always at hindsight.
Had you known that you were making a wrong decision, would you have gone along with it? Perhaps not, why would you choose a certain path when you know it would get you lost? Why make a certain decision if you knew from the very beginning that it is not the right one. It is only after you have made a decision and reflected on it that you realize its soundness. If the consequences or outcomes are good for you, then you have decided correctly. Otherwise, your decision was wrong.
Take the risk: decide.
Since life offers no guarantee and you would never know that your decision would be wrong until you have made it, then you might as well take the risk and decide. It is definitely better than keeping yourself in limbo. Although it is true that one wrong turn could get you lost, it could also be that such a turn could be an opportunity for an adventure, moreover open more roads. It is all a matter of perspective. You have the choice between being a lost traveler or an accidental tourist of life. But take caution that you do not make decisions haphazardly. Taking risks is not about being careless and stupid. Here are some pointers that could help you choose the best option in the face of life’s crossroads:
. Get as many information as you can about your situation.
You cannot find the confidence to decide when you know so little about what you are faced with. Just like any news reporter, ask the 5 W’s: what, who, when, where, and why. What is the situation? Who are the people involved? When did this happen? Where is this leading? Why are you in this situation? These are just some of the possible questions to ask to know more about your situation. This is important. Oftentimes, the reason for indecision is the lack of information about a situation.
· Identify and create options.
What options do the situation give you? Sometimes the options are few, but sometimes they are numerous. But what do you do when you think that the situation offers no options? This is the time that you create your own. Make your creative mind work. From the most simplistic to the most complicated, entertain all ideas. Do not shoot anything down when an idea comes to your head. Sometimes the most outrageous idea could prove to be the right one in the end. You can ask a friend to help you identify options and even make more options if you encounter some difficulty, but make sure that you make the decision yourself in the end.
· Weigh the pros and cons of every option.
Assess each option by looking at the advantages and disadvantages it offers you. In this way, you get more insights about the consequences of such an option.
· Trust yourself and make that decision.
Now that you have assessed your options, it is now time to trust yourself. Remember that there are no guarantees and wrong decisions are always at hindsight. So choose… decide… believe that you are choosing the best option at this point in time.
Now that you have made a decision, be ready to face its consequences: good and bad. It may take you to a place of promise or to a land of problems. But the important thing is that you have chosen to live your life instead of remaining a bystander or a passive audience to your own life. Whether it is the right decision or not, only time can tell. But do not regret it whatever the outcome. Instead, learn from it and remember that you always have the chance to make better decisions in the future.
SELF IMPROVEMENT AND SUCCESS
Everything that happens to us happens in purpose. And sometimes, one thing leads to another. Instead of locking yourself up in your cage of fears and crying over past heartaches, embarrassment and failures, treat them as your teachers and they will become your tools in both self improvement and success.
So, when does self improvement become synonymous with success? Where do we start? Take these tips, friends…
*Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not. How can others accept you if YOU can’t accept YOU?
*When you see hunks and models on TV, think more on self improvement, not self pitying. Self acceptance is not just about having nice slender legs, or great abs. Concentrate on inner beauty.
*When people feel so down and low about themselves, help them move up. Don’t go down with them. They’ll pull you down further and both of you will end up feeling inferior.
*The world is a large room for lessons, not mistakes. Don’t feel stupid and doomed forever just because you failed on a science quiz. There’s always a next time. Make rooms for self improvement.
*Take things one at a time. You don’t expect black sheep’s to be goody-two-shoes in just a snap of a finger. Self improvement is a one day at a time process.
*Self improvement results to inner stability, personality development and dig this …. SUCCESS. It comes from self confidence, self appreciation and self esteem.
* Set meaningful and achievable goals. Self improvement doesn’t turn you to be the exact replica of Cameron Diaz or Ralph Fiennes. It hopes and aims to result to an improved and better YOU.
*Little things mean BIG to other people. Sometimes, we don’t realize that the little things that we do like a pat on the back, saying “hi” or “hello”, greeting someone “good day” or telling Mr. Smith something like “hey, I love your tie!” are simple things that mean so much to other people. When we’re being appreciative about beautiful things around us and other people, we also become beautiful to them.
*When you’re willing to accept change and go through the process of self improvement, it doesn’t mean that everyone else is. The world is a place where people of different values and attitude hang out. Sometimes, even if you think you and your best friend always like to do the same thing together at the same time, she would most likely decline an invitation for self improvement.
We should always remember that there’s no such thing as ‘over night success’. Its always a wonderful feeling to hold on to the things that you already have now, realizing that those are just one of the things you once wished for. A very nice quote says that “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” We are all here to learn our lessons. Our parents, school teachers, friends, colleagues, officemates, neighbors… they are our teachers. When we open our doors for self improvement, we increase our chances to head to the road of success.
So, when does self improvement become synonymous with success? Where do we start? Take these tips, friends…
*Stop thinking and feeling as if you’re a failure, because you’re not. How can others accept you if YOU can’t accept YOU?
*When you see hunks and models on TV, think more on self improvement, not self pitying. Self acceptance is not just about having nice slender legs, or great abs. Concentrate on inner beauty.
*When people feel so down and low about themselves, help them move up. Don’t go down with them. They’ll pull you down further and both of you will end up feeling inferior.
*The world is a large room for lessons, not mistakes. Don’t feel stupid and doomed forever just because you failed on a science quiz. There’s always a next time. Make rooms for self improvement.
*Take things one at a time. You don’t expect black sheep’s to be goody-two-shoes in just a snap of a finger. Self improvement is a one day at a time process.
*Self improvement results to inner stability, personality development and dig this …. SUCCESS. It comes from self confidence, self appreciation and self esteem.
* Set meaningful and achievable goals. Self improvement doesn’t turn you to be the exact replica of Cameron Diaz or Ralph Fiennes. It hopes and aims to result to an improved and better YOU.
*Little things mean BIG to other people. Sometimes, we don’t realize that the little things that we do like a pat on the back, saying “hi” or “hello”, greeting someone “good day” or telling Mr. Smith something like “hey, I love your tie!” are simple things that mean so much to other people. When we’re being appreciative about beautiful things around us and other people, we also become beautiful to them.
*When you’re willing to accept change and go through the process of self improvement, it doesn’t mean that everyone else is. The world is a place where people of different values and attitude hang out. Sometimes, even if you think you and your best friend always like to do the same thing together at the same time, she would most likely decline an invitation for self improvement.
We should always remember that there’s no such thing as ‘over night success’. Its always a wonderful feeling to hold on to the things that you already have now, realizing that those are just one of the things you once wished for. A very nice quote says that “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” We are all here to learn our lessons. Our parents, school teachers, friends, colleagues, officemates, neighbors… they are our teachers. When we open our doors for self improvement, we increase our chances to head to the road of success.
Esther and the secret of a long happy life?
She was dining at the table next to mine with three other people. You could tell that the four of them had not seen each other in awhile and was enjoying some great conversations and tales of their youth.
Esther's laugh would make me bring my head up and glance over at her. Esther's laugh was infectious and often sounded like a child's giggle. Every time she laughed, her eyes would light up with a brilliant glow and her smile was wide and friendly.
As I sat there enjoying my dinner I realized that my smile was a constant thing on my face and that my eyes kept wandering over to Esther's smiling face and beautiful eyes. It was becoming difficult not to stare at this beautiful woman.
My meal was now complete but not wanting to leave the presence of this amazing woman I decided to order coffee and desert. Now believe me I was not eavesdropping, I could not hear the conversations, but could hear the laughter.
Not really wanting my dessert I pushed it aside and toyed with my coffee cup further delaying my departure. Soon after my second refill, I noticed the three guests with Esther stand up. My heart skipped a beat before I realized that the three of them where headed off to the restrooms.
Feeling a little like a single guy in a pick up joint, I decided to make my move. Approaching Esther with a big smile on my face I introduced myself.
"Hi my name is J.D. and I was sitting at the table next to yours. I just wanted to tell you what a great laugh you have and what a wonderful smile that just makes your eyes twinkle.
Now I really felt an idiot, this was sounding like a stupid pickup line. But Esther put me at ease and introduced herself then thanked me for my remarks.
Being the lady that she is, Esther asked me to take a seat.
"Thank you Esther" I respond as I pull my chair over to her table. "So you're not from around here are you?" I ask, making it sound like another stupid pickup line.
Esther laughed with that glorious laugh and asked "J.D. are you flirting with me?" giving me a little wink.
Blushing a little I replied with a smile on my face "Esther I'm a married man, but given different circumstances and another era, I could be."
Now Esther's guest were returning and we made introductions all around. One was her sister in law and the other two were her children. It turns out that Esther was on vacation and came out to visit the family.
After some small talk and as they were preparing to depart I finally decided to pop the question. "Esther would you answer a question for me?"
With a smile on her face she looks at me and said "You want to know how old I am?" "I am 93 years old"
Esther must have noticed my eye grow wide at her response, chuckling she continued "Oh so I am to old for you is that it?"
"No Esther you are not to old and that was not the question I was going to ask." Again I was blushing and smiling like a little school boy.
I explained to them of my interests in self improvement and how I enjoy writing articles and sharing experiences and lessons on personal growth.
"What I wanted to know was your secrets to being happy and having a smile on your face all the time and now I also want to know you secrets to a long life"
"J.D. there are no real secrets to it, but I will share my thoughts with you and give you the short version."
"Make good friends, love your family, don't fret over minor details, never go to bed mad, think good thoughts, help others, keep a smile on your face, never stop working and" as she winked at me she said "flirting with young guys is what keeps me young"
At his moment her sister in law spoke up and said "You know J.D. Esther still works 40 hours a week as a nurse and won't retire because she enjoys helping people so much."
I then asked Esther if I could give her a hug.
"J.D. I thought you would never ask" and with that she, "Esther", this tiny 93 year young woman still working full time as a nurse gave me a hug as if I was her son or long lost friend.
The love and kindness that radiated from this woman was over whelming, I stooped and planted a kiss on her cheek.
Esther, bless you and I hope to see you next year!
Discover How to Control the One Thing that Means More to Your Accomplishments and Happiness than Anything Else ... Your Attitude!
Smile!
Smile right now! Regardless of what is going on in your life I want you to smile. Smile big. Smile goofy. Smile a smile that spreads from your lips to your entire face and eyes, even your neck, shoulders, and scalp. Just smile!
Let me talk to you about choices for a moment. Each moment we have a choice about how we feel. Most often, we are caught up in the events of the moment, and forget we have that choice. Whenever we remember, however, we can shift gears with a simple physical action: a smile.
Our emotional state at any given moment is a result of our brain’s chemistry. If you’ll forgive the term, a “heady” combination of hormones and neural chemicals result in the particular ‘flavor’ of our brain soup. Our brain spices are different when angry than when sad, or ecstatic. Based on this idea that each emotion creates, or results (causation is not an issue in this article) in a particular chemical balance in our brains, it is pretty obvious that we can not entertain two opposing emotions at the same time. Just as your stove top chowder can’t be ‘too salty’ and ‘not salty enough’ at the same time, so your brain can’t be chemically spiced as ‘sad’ and ‘happy’ at the same time.
So…in those moments of lucidity when you become aware of who controls your brain’s spice cabinet, here is what I suggest—always season your brain, and your day, with a smile.
Let me suggest an experiment you can do right now. Just as you are sitting there now and reading this: Recall a less than glorious experience. As you recall this experience, notice how your brain and body begin to feel correspondingly poorly. Don’t let yourself feel too bad. Feel just bad enough to notice a change in your brain soup.
As soon as you notice a poor feeling, smile. Stop smiling. Smile bigger. Stop smiling. Smile even bigger. Stop smiling. Smile your biggest goofiest smile. Now, try to stop smiling. Hard to stop smiling, isn’t it?
Smiles seem to be one of those physical postures or actions that are ‘hard-wired’ to a particular emotional state. You simply can not feel sad while smiling. Try it.
Smiling is only one easy physical gesture that is hard-wired to an emotional state. Frowns are as well, but why fiddle around with negative states? Instead, let us consider some other posture or activities that are naturally connected to positive, or enjoyable emotional states.
Here is a good one…try feeling depressed while standing up straight. Hold your head high, breath high into your chest, and try to feel depressed or sad. Most people can not do it. Knowledge of such postural effects on emotions is deeply engrained into our language. Think of such phrases as "Hold your head high” or “chin up” as encouraging phrases offered to suffering friends.
Many people can’t feel bad when simply looking up with their eyes. Try it. Try to recall a sad or depressing thought while aiming your eyes high.
Use your body to flavor your ‘brain soup’. You’ll like the positive flavor.
Richard Lefever has a practice for Hypnotherapy Portland. For Hypnotherapy Oregon - give him a call today (877-296-6207)!
Let me talk to you about choices for a moment. Each moment we have a choice about how we feel. Most often, we are caught up in the events of the moment, and forget we have that choice. Whenever we remember, however, we can shift gears with a simple physical action: a smile.
Our emotional state at any given moment is a result of our brain’s chemistry. If you’ll forgive the term, a “heady” combination of hormones and neural chemicals result in the particular ‘flavor’ of our brain soup. Our brain spices are different when angry than when sad, or ecstatic. Based on this idea that each emotion creates, or results (causation is not an issue in this article) in a particular chemical balance in our brains, it is pretty obvious that we can not entertain two opposing emotions at the same time. Just as your stove top chowder can’t be ‘too salty’ and ‘not salty enough’ at the same time, so your brain can’t be chemically spiced as ‘sad’ and ‘happy’ at the same time.
So…in those moments of lucidity when you become aware of who controls your brain’s spice cabinet, here is what I suggest—always season your brain, and your day, with a smile.
Let me suggest an experiment you can do right now. Just as you are sitting there now and reading this: Recall a less than glorious experience. As you recall this experience, notice how your brain and body begin to feel correspondingly poorly. Don’t let yourself feel too bad. Feel just bad enough to notice a change in your brain soup.
As soon as you notice a poor feeling, smile. Stop smiling. Smile bigger. Stop smiling. Smile even bigger. Stop smiling. Smile your biggest goofiest smile. Now, try to stop smiling. Hard to stop smiling, isn’t it?
Smiles seem to be one of those physical postures or actions that are ‘hard-wired’ to a particular emotional state. You simply can not feel sad while smiling. Try it.
Smiling is only one easy physical gesture that is hard-wired to an emotional state. Frowns are as well, but why fiddle around with negative states? Instead, let us consider some other posture or activities that are naturally connected to positive, or enjoyable emotional states.
Here is a good one…try feeling depressed while standing up straight. Hold your head high, breath high into your chest, and try to feel depressed or sad. Most people can not do it. Knowledge of such postural effects on emotions is deeply engrained into our language. Think of such phrases as "Hold your head high” or “chin up” as encouraging phrases offered to suffering friends.
Many people can’t feel bad when simply looking up with their eyes. Try it. Try to recall a sad or depressing thought while aiming your eyes high.
Use your body to flavor your ‘brain soup’. You’ll like the positive flavor.
Richard Lefever has a practice for Hypnotherapy Portland. For Hypnotherapy Oregon - give him a call today (877-296-6207)!
Set Goals for Self-improvement
In order to succeed or accomplish anything in life you must first set goals. It is especially a must for any person interested in self-improvement. With that said, one of the first sets of goals should be on self-improvement.
But remember "What you achieve through the journey of life is not as important as who you become" - Author Unknown.
Go ahead and take the actions and steps necessary to make your goal of self-improvement in some area of your life into a reality. A good example of this is how athletes will compare their current performance to their own previous performances with self-improvement being the number one goal.
Below are six goal-setting actions to help you realize your goals:
1. Begin with short-term goals that will build upon themselves and lead you to long-term ones.
If you have a big task, like becoming debt free, break it into smaller steps which will help you stay focused and on course. You will feel good as you reach each goal, keeping you motivated and ready for the next one.
2. Make sure you really want the goal. It is very important that the goals you choose are yours and not someone else's goals set for you. If deep down you are not committed to the goals, you will only put off achieving it.
3. Share your goals with others. By doing this you will gain support you need from others. Make sure you share with those who will encourage you and not with those who will give you negative feedback.
4. Write down your goals. Create a written statement of goals and sign it. This will reinforce your commitment and give you a map for success. Also, when times get tough you can read your statement to help motivate you.
5. Stay the course and don't give up. There is nothing more satisfying in life then when you complete a goal. Being successful once turns into many. It can become quite additive.
6. Rejoice and celebrate. Take time to savor the moment. You worked hard and found out that by being committed and dedicated your goals were met.
There you have it, six basic steps that will aid you on your journey to successfully obtaining your goals. All though all six steps are important the one that stands out the most is number 1. If you can't break your goal down into bit size portions you will always put it off or procrastinate. And you know what happens when one procrastinates...nothing gets done. Good luck.
Dennis Watson - Just helping others succeed.
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24 Secrets To Happiness
Are you happy? Would you like to be even happier? You can if you understand what brings true, long-lasting happiness. We all have the ability to create a happy life and we all deserve it.
I learned a lot about happiness from my clients. As a Marriage, Family Therapist for 27 years, I first discovered what happiness is not. Many of my clients of all ages had many things happening in their lives that anyone would think would make them happy. To my surprise, men and women who had beautiful homes, cars, successful careers or businesses, good health, wonderful children, and free time to travel and participate in sports, were still very unhappy.
When I guided them through a process called HART, which stands for Holistic And Rapid Transformation, they changed their negative thoughts to positive ones. Then the clients were able to realize the messages below, and believe that happiness was in their grasp. As they focused on what they could do to feel true happiness, their lives improved dramatically.
The following 24 guidelines can assist you to enjoy this wonderful feeling.
Happiness Is….
1. Experiencing my life as an exciting journey.
2. Courageously doing what I want to do even if I'm scared.
3. Realizing that I have everything inside of me to make me happy.
4. Knowing that I'm the only one who can decide what is right or wrong for me.
5. Thinking positive thoughts which are attracting to me what I want and need.
6. Forgiving myself and others for what I perceive to be not okay.
7. Accepting that I'm okay even when I blunder and learning from my mistakes.
8. Realizing that I'm only responsible for my thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
9. Understanding that what people say or do is a reflection of them and not of me.
10. Listening to my inner wisdom, my intuition.
11. Stimulating my mind and caring for my body.
12. Balancing my life between work and play.
13. Understanding that every precious moment is all that matters.
14. Being caring and loving and pursuing my interests and talents.
15. Learning from my past, setting goals for the future, and focusing on the present.
16. Allowing myself to feel all of my emotions and to express them in healthy ways.
17. Taking the time to smell the flowers.
18. Sharing my truth in a loving way.
19. Overcoming my fears and resolving all my problems with win-win solutions.
20. Accepting changes, and flowing with them.
21. Understanding that my true success of each day is how much I have expressed caring to myself and others.
22. Being grateful for all that I have and for all that I am.
23. Accepting that I am okay and I deserve to be healthy, happy, and successful.
24. Giving and receiving unconditionally.
Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. Her newest book is, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART!”. She offers phone sessions, teleclasses, books, e-books, MP3 audios, tapes, posters, independent studies, and a free newsletter. http://www.lovetopeace.com , 1-888-639-6390.
I learned a lot about happiness from my clients. As a Marriage, Family Therapist for 27 years, I first discovered what happiness is not. Many of my clients of all ages had many things happening in their lives that anyone would think would make them happy. To my surprise, men and women who had beautiful homes, cars, successful careers or businesses, good health, wonderful children, and free time to travel and participate in sports, were still very unhappy.
When I guided them through a process called HART, which stands for Holistic And Rapid Transformation, they changed their negative thoughts to positive ones. Then the clients were able to realize the messages below, and believe that happiness was in their grasp. As they focused on what they could do to feel true happiness, their lives improved dramatically.
The following 24 guidelines can assist you to enjoy this wonderful feeling.
Happiness Is….
1. Experiencing my life as an exciting journey.
2. Courageously doing what I want to do even if I'm scared.
3. Realizing that I have everything inside of me to make me happy.
4. Knowing that I'm the only one who can decide what is right or wrong for me.
5. Thinking positive thoughts which are attracting to me what I want and need.
6. Forgiving myself and others for what I perceive to be not okay.
7. Accepting that I'm okay even when I blunder and learning from my mistakes.
8. Realizing that I'm only responsible for my thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
9. Understanding that what people say or do is a reflection of them and not of me.
10. Listening to my inner wisdom, my intuition.
11. Stimulating my mind and caring for my body.
12. Balancing my life between work and play.
13. Understanding that every precious moment is all that matters.
14. Being caring and loving and pursuing my interests and talents.
15. Learning from my past, setting goals for the future, and focusing on the present.
16. Allowing myself to feel all of my emotions and to express them in healthy ways.
17. Taking the time to smell the flowers.
18. Sharing my truth in a loving way.
19. Overcoming my fears and resolving all my problems with win-win solutions.
20. Accepting changes, and flowing with them.
21. Understanding that my true success of each day is how much I have expressed caring to myself and others.
22. Being grateful for all that I have and for all that I am.
23. Accepting that I am okay and I deserve to be healthy, happy, and successful.
24. Giving and receiving unconditionally.
Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, speaker, and author. Her newest book is, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART!”. She offers phone sessions, teleclasses, books, e-books, MP3 audios, tapes, posters, independent studies, and a free newsletter. http://www.lovetopeace.com , 1-888-639-6390.
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