Attain The Ultimate Sense Of Confidence!
Showing posts with label Choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Choices. Show all posts
Ten Things In Life That You Can Control
We humans spend much of our time trying to control every
aspect of our lives. Unfortunately, too often we waste time
trying to control things that are simply beyond our control.
Having an understanding of what things you do control can
make it easier for you to gain control of your life and
everything in it.
1. What you do.
Your actions are yours alone. You choose to make them or not
make them and you are responsible for the effects of those
actions.
2. What you say.
Likewise, the words you speak (or write) are also
consciously chosen. Like actions, they have an impact on
your life and the lives of those you contact.
3. What you think.
Yes, there are some subconscious thoughts that you can't
control. But the things that you really think about, your
beliefs, your ideals, etc. are concepts you have chosen to
accept and believe in.
4. Your work.
Many people like to overlook this one, it being much easier
to say "Oh, I'm trapped in my job because I don't have a
degree, experience, etc."
Hogwash! That's simple a way of denying one's responsibility
in having chosen the job in the first place. It's your job
and you chose it. If you stay (or go), that's a choice as
well.
5. The people you associate with.
There's a famous t-shirt that states: "It's hard to soar
like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys." Colloquial
is very often correct! Your friends can either lift you up
or bring you down. You make the decision which type of
friends you wish to have.
6. Your basic physical health.
Much about our health is a factor of genetics, environment,
and exposure. Much more of our health is simply a matter of
the decisions we make about our health, such as: diet,
exercise, drugs, sleep, routine physicals, check-ups, etc.
7. The environment you live in.
Your house, the condition of your home, the town you live
in, the amenities available to you are all things you can
control, although some to a lesser degree (i.e., you decide
to tolerate them or move someplace else).
8. Your fiscal situation.
Having or not having enough money is a factor of what you
make versus what you spend.
9. Your time.
You choose how to "spend" your time and how much of your
time to give to various activities. You'll never get more
time than the 24 hours you're given each day.
10. Your legacy.
All your actions, words and knowledge that you share while
you are living become the gift that you leave when you are
gone.
Attain The Ultimate Sense Of Confidence!
Jim Allen is a professional life & business coach. For more
ideas, subscribe to his free bi-weekly ezine, THE BIG IDEA, by sending a
blank email to: SubscribeGA@CoachJim.com
Attain The Ultimate Sense Of Confidence!
aspect of our lives. Unfortunately, too often we waste time
trying to control things that are simply beyond our control.
Having an understanding of what things you do control can
make it easier for you to gain control of your life and
everything in it.
1. What you do.
Your actions are yours alone. You choose to make them or not
make them and you are responsible for the effects of those
actions.
2. What you say.
Likewise, the words you speak (or write) are also
consciously chosen. Like actions, they have an impact on
your life and the lives of those you contact.
3. What you think.
Yes, there are some subconscious thoughts that you can't
control. But the things that you really think about, your
beliefs, your ideals, etc. are concepts you have chosen to
accept and believe in.
4. Your work.
Many people like to overlook this one, it being much easier
to say "Oh, I'm trapped in my job because I don't have a
degree, experience, etc."
Hogwash! That's simple a way of denying one's responsibility
in having chosen the job in the first place. It's your job
and you chose it. If you stay (or go), that's a choice as
well.
5. The people you associate with.
There's a famous t-shirt that states: "It's hard to soar
like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys." Colloquial
is very often correct! Your friends can either lift you up
or bring you down. You make the decision which type of
friends you wish to have.
6. Your basic physical health.
Much about our health is a factor of genetics, environment,
and exposure. Much more of our health is simply a matter of
the decisions we make about our health, such as: diet,
exercise, drugs, sleep, routine physicals, check-ups, etc.
7. The environment you live in.
Your house, the condition of your home, the town you live
in, the amenities available to you are all things you can
control, although some to a lesser degree (i.e., you decide
to tolerate them or move someplace else).
8. Your fiscal situation.
Having or not having enough money is a factor of what you
make versus what you spend.
9. Your time.
You choose how to "spend" your time and how much of your
time to give to various activities. You'll never get more
time than the 24 hours you're given each day.
10. Your legacy.
All your actions, words and knowledge that you share while
you are living become the gift that you leave when you are
gone.
Attain The Ultimate Sense Of Confidence!
Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com
How to Find Your Passion
Following your passion brings personal power and awakens yourself to the beauty of the world. It leads you to the heart of spiritual journey as it changes your thoughts, perceptions, and feelings. Finding your passion does not promise an easy life rather a rich life open to hopes and possibility.
1. Speak your truths clearly - To find your passion you must speak your truths and ready yourself to new adventures. Know what really matter to you? What truly makes you happy? Know the things you do best and makes you feel complete.
2. Be open for support - You must also keep in mind that you are not an isolated being – you need the support of family, friends and positive-minded social circle that will help you reach your goals.
3. Open up your senses - When you open up your senses, you tend experience God’s blessings and you feel more peaceful and serene. This allows you to be more patient and be reminded the cycle of nature. When you experience this you become more positive and calm.
4. Give yourself a time for pleasure - Waking up in the morning away from busy schedules and having the freedom to do the things that brings you pleasure? To find your passion you must allow yourself a time for pleasure. For many people, allowing pleasures induces guilt as it is not productive and hinders you from getting important things accomplished. But this view of pleasure is actually a matter of opinion. Gentle pleasures are good to your health and are productive. By allowing yourself time for pleasure you become more focused and passionate in your job.
5. Liberate yourself - A person who finds her passion is a truly wise person. Doing a work that reflects your personality and values promises you a lifelong happiness and contentment. It is easier and liberating when we accept who we are and we allow other people to accept us too. The human psyche is a holistic system, to numb one part of our being is to numb the rest and create constant struggle.
6. Feed yourself with affirmations - Affirmations are important in finding your passion in life as it makes you feel secure and optimistic about reaching your goals. A lot of people don’t get to their destinations out of fear of failure. You should allow yourself to get upset by some downturns but remind yourself to pull yourself together past and get on track again. Some people might influence you into thinking negative. It’s not so easy to shut them out of your life. But it’s easier to practice blocking the negative energies that they bring into your life. It keeps your sanity.
Finding your passion is an endless song. When you do the things that you are passionate about you allow you let your life to flourish. You let yourself connect to everything you are – in mind, in heart, and in spirit. You are a stronger that can face challenges better because you are reinforced by being able to do the things you love. You feel more alive, positive, self-respecting, and determined. You live your life with confidence and high morale. And you feel you are contributing goodness and positivism to the people in your life.
1. Speak your truths clearly - To find your passion you must speak your truths and ready yourself to new adventures. Know what really matter to you? What truly makes you happy? Know the things you do best and makes you feel complete.
2. Be open for support - You must also keep in mind that you are not an isolated being – you need the support of family, friends and positive-minded social circle that will help you reach your goals.
3. Open up your senses - When you open up your senses, you tend experience God’s blessings and you feel more peaceful and serene. This allows you to be more patient and be reminded the cycle of nature. When you experience this you become more positive and calm.
4. Give yourself a time for pleasure - Waking up in the morning away from busy schedules and having the freedom to do the things that brings you pleasure? To find your passion you must allow yourself a time for pleasure. For many people, allowing pleasures induces guilt as it is not productive and hinders you from getting important things accomplished. But this view of pleasure is actually a matter of opinion. Gentle pleasures are good to your health and are productive. By allowing yourself time for pleasure you become more focused and passionate in your job.
5. Liberate yourself - A person who finds her passion is a truly wise person. Doing a work that reflects your personality and values promises you a lifelong happiness and contentment. It is easier and liberating when we accept who we are and we allow other people to accept us too. The human psyche is a holistic system, to numb one part of our being is to numb the rest and create constant struggle.
6. Feed yourself with affirmations - Affirmations are important in finding your passion in life as it makes you feel secure and optimistic about reaching your goals. A lot of people don’t get to their destinations out of fear of failure. You should allow yourself to get upset by some downturns but remind yourself to pull yourself together past and get on track again. Some people might influence you into thinking negative. It’s not so easy to shut them out of your life. But it’s easier to practice blocking the negative energies that they bring into your life. It keeps your sanity.
Finding your passion is an endless song. When you do the things that you are passionate about you allow you let your life to flourish. You let yourself connect to everything you are – in mind, in heart, and in spirit. You are a stronger that can face challenges better because you are reinforced by being able to do the things you love. You feel more alive, positive, self-respecting, and determined. You live your life with confidence and high morale. And you feel you are contributing goodness and positivism to the people in your life.
You Have Always A Choice
Here is a great article that I would like to share with you by Rene Graeber. I think it makes some very good and valid points. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
People often say they have no choice when faced with a dead end. They say they have no choice but to take the one direction available, which is often a wrong one.
When they say that remark, they must understand that they have to take the blame for the consequences of what they will do.
However, truth is far from the often-circulated concept that man has no choice.
We do have choices. As long as you have rights to protect, you have a choice. When rights are denied, then so are options. When you let your rights be denied, this too is an option.
Just look at slaves. Most of them obey not out of willingness, but because they have no rights; and thus, they have no choice but to obey. Yet, in another light, it is really their choice that they are slaves. Even not having a choice is still a choice.
Some are willing slaves. They voluntarily throw their rights away because they believe the person to whom they render service to is worthy of treating them as such.
Some simply accept their lot as slaves, and that is their choice. Some refuse to be slaves and choose to assert their rights. All these are choices.
The kind of life you have is the life you choose. You cannot blame anyone for how your life ends up.
For instance, you can choose to live happily or miserably. It all depends on you. If you live a hectic life, that’s because you choose to be busy. No one can force a kind of life upon you, not even a superior who points a gun to your head. Every choice has its consequence.
Thus, if you choose to be healthy, live up to that choice. Be healthy. The choice will have to be followed by a decision to be disciplined.
Being disciplined means that you must exert effort to attain and maintain a healthy body. Eat right, exercise right, sleep right, and live right.
Don’t blame anyone else if you get sick. Getting sick is a choice. Some people cannot afford to be healthy because they choose not to afford it.
They can spend for something else but not for good health. To be able to prioritize good health in your budget, you have to live a simple life. Every choice entails a consequence, so you have to live up to your choices.
Do you believe that you can attain anything your heart desires? I'm telling you, you can! Rene Graeber uses and teaches will power and mind control for more than 10 years. Visit his website and learn how to unleash your full potential of your mind - just visit http://www.will-power-mind-control.com
People often say they have no choice when faced with a dead end. They say they have no choice but to take the one direction available, which is often a wrong one.
When they say that remark, they must understand that they have to take the blame for the consequences of what they will do.
However, truth is far from the often-circulated concept that man has no choice.
We do have choices. As long as you have rights to protect, you have a choice. When rights are denied, then so are options. When you let your rights be denied, this too is an option.
Just look at slaves. Most of them obey not out of willingness, but because they have no rights; and thus, they have no choice but to obey. Yet, in another light, it is really their choice that they are slaves. Even not having a choice is still a choice.
Some are willing slaves. They voluntarily throw their rights away because they believe the person to whom they render service to is worthy of treating them as such.
Some simply accept their lot as slaves, and that is their choice. Some refuse to be slaves and choose to assert their rights. All these are choices.
The kind of life you have is the life you choose. You cannot blame anyone for how your life ends up.
For instance, you can choose to live happily or miserably. It all depends on you. If you live a hectic life, that’s because you choose to be busy. No one can force a kind of life upon you, not even a superior who points a gun to your head. Every choice has its consequence.
Thus, if you choose to be healthy, live up to that choice. Be healthy. The choice will have to be followed by a decision to be disciplined.
Being disciplined means that you must exert effort to attain and maintain a healthy body. Eat right, exercise right, sleep right, and live right.
Don’t blame anyone else if you get sick. Getting sick is a choice. Some people cannot afford to be healthy because they choose not to afford it.
They can spend for something else but not for good health. To be able to prioritize good health in your budget, you have to live a simple life. Every choice entails a consequence, so you have to live up to your choices.
Do you believe that you can attain anything your heart desires? I'm telling you, you can! Rene Graeber uses and teaches will power and mind control for more than 10 years. Visit his website and learn how to unleash your full potential of your mind - just visit http://www.will-power-mind-control.com
How to Have a Great Life
I'm sure most people would really prefer to have a great life but they don't seem to know how to do it. Having a great life really comes down to five simple steps. If you follow these steps your life will take on new zest and you really will have a great life.
The First Step is to Make Some Choices.
Do you like making decisions or do you tend to avoid making decisions? If you have a habit of sitting on the fence then all you'll end up with is splinters in your butt. In order to have a great life you have to make some decisions about what you want to do and have in life.
If you ask kids who are leaving school what they really want to do with their life most of them don't know. That's okay because they are only kids and haven't experienced much of life yet. What is sad is that when most of these kids are 50 years old they still won't know what they really want to do in life because they have avoided the effort required to think about it. They are just floating along with the masses without any planned direction, living the life of Mr. and Mrs. Average.
Life is full of possibility. All you have to do is make a decision what you want your life to be like and then choose to follow that path.
The Second Step is to Become a Player Not a Spectator
Step one suggested that you make choices. The first choice to make in life is to become a player rather than a spectator. A player is someone who takes action in order to affect the outcome in the game. A spectator is someone who is at the mercy of the choices that other people make. If you are a spectator then you get whatever life dishes out whether you like it or not.
Have you ever watched a sporting match where your team is losing? It's frustrating isn't it? You really want your team to win but there is nothing you can do to help. Whether they win or lose has nothing to do with you.
Have you ever felt like that in life? Your life just seems to go along a path that doesn't really inspire you but it all seems to be outside your control. If that is happening to you it is because you are a spectator.
Decide to become a player. Decide do something to effect the outcomes in your life. Life will be a lot more fun if you do.
The Third Step is to Develop Self Discipline.
The key to moving from a spectator to a player is to develop self discipline. All great players, regardless of the sport, have developed self discipline. They need to discipline themselves to learn the skills of the game. They need to discipline themselves to practice those skills and to build up the strength and fitness they require. And most of all they need to discipline themselves to make good decisions when the game is in full swing and the pressure is on.
The game of life is the same. There are skills to learn, strength and fitness to develop and most of all you need the self discipline to do what you have to do when the pressure of life in on you. Self discipline is the key that opens the door to what ever you want in life.
The Fourth Step in Creating a Great Life is to Live With Passion.
How did you get out of bed this morning? Did you jump out with enthusiasm for the day ahead or did you reluctantly drag yourself out?
Life is either a passionate adventure or it's nothing! If you don't have a passion for life then you'd better make finding one your number one priority. Life is short, don't let the opportunity pass you by.
The Fifth Step to a Great Life is to Focus on Beauty and Joy.
What do you tend to see most in life the beauty or the ugliness, the joy or the sorrow, the passion or the hardship, the solutions or the problems, the health or the sickness, the wealth or the poverty, the opportunities or the difficulties, the excitement or the boredom, the rewards or the work, the wins or the losses, the happiness or the sadness. It all comes back to step number one; making a choice.
One of the most powerful universal principles of living is that what you focus on expands. If you focus on the pleasures of being healthy then you will be healthy but if you focus on sickness then you will get sick. If you focus on beauty, joy and passion then your life will be filled with beauty joy and passion but if you focus on ugliness, sorrow and hardship then that is what will expand in your life.
How Are You Playing the Game of Life?
How do you score on the five steps to a great life? Are you a choice maker and a player in the game of life? Do you have the self discipline to follow up on your choices and develop the mental and emotion strength and fitness to be a great player in the game? Do you see the beauty, joy, health, wealth and opportunity that life offers?
The answers to those simple questions determine what your life is like today and what it will be like tomorrow. The choice is yours.
Acclaimed Author & Success Coach, James Delrojo
will show you how to turn your life around in just 30 days
and unlock the flood gates of success. You Deserve Success!
Go to http://www.SuccessIn30days.com
The First Step is to Make Some Choices.
Do you like making decisions or do you tend to avoid making decisions? If you have a habit of sitting on the fence then all you'll end up with is splinters in your butt. In order to have a great life you have to make some decisions about what you want to do and have in life.
If you ask kids who are leaving school what they really want to do with their life most of them don't know. That's okay because they are only kids and haven't experienced much of life yet. What is sad is that when most of these kids are 50 years old they still won't know what they really want to do in life because they have avoided the effort required to think about it. They are just floating along with the masses without any planned direction, living the life of Mr. and Mrs. Average.
Life is full of possibility. All you have to do is make a decision what you want your life to be like and then choose to follow that path.
The Second Step is to Become a Player Not a Spectator
Step one suggested that you make choices. The first choice to make in life is to become a player rather than a spectator. A player is someone who takes action in order to affect the outcome in the game. A spectator is someone who is at the mercy of the choices that other people make. If you are a spectator then you get whatever life dishes out whether you like it or not.
Have you ever watched a sporting match where your team is losing? It's frustrating isn't it? You really want your team to win but there is nothing you can do to help. Whether they win or lose has nothing to do with you.
Have you ever felt like that in life? Your life just seems to go along a path that doesn't really inspire you but it all seems to be outside your control. If that is happening to you it is because you are a spectator.
Decide to become a player. Decide do something to effect the outcomes in your life. Life will be a lot more fun if you do.
The Third Step is to Develop Self Discipline.
The key to moving from a spectator to a player is to develop self discipline. All great players, regardless of the sport, have developed self discipline. They need to discipline themselves to learn the skills of the game. They need to discipline themselves to practice those skills and to build up the strength and fitness they require. And most of all they need to discipline themselves to make good decisions when the game is in full swing and the pressure is on.
The game of life is the same. There are skills to learn, strength and fitness to develop and most of all you need the self discipline to do what you have to do when the pressure of life in on you. Self discipline is the key that opens the door to what ever you want in life.
The Fourth Step in Creating a Great Life is to Live With Passion.
How did you get out of bed this morning? Did you jump out with enthusiasm for the day ahead or did you reluctantly drag yourself out?
Life is either a passionate adventure or it's nothing! If you don't have a passion for life then you'd better make finding one your number one priority. Life is short, don't let the opportunity pass you by.
The Fifth Step to a Great Life is to Focus on Beauty and Joy.
What do you tend to see most in life the beauty or the ugliness, the joy or the sorrow, the passion or the hardship, the solutions or the problems, the health or the sickness, the wealth or the poverty, the opportunities or the difficulties, the excitement or the boredom, the rewards or the work, the wins or the losses, the happiness or the sadness. It all comes back to step number one; making a choice.
One of the most powerful universal principles of living is that what you focus on expands. If you focus on the pleasures of being healthy then you will be healthy but if you focus on sickness then you will get sick. If you focus on beauty, joy and passion then your life will be filled with beauty joy and passion but if you focus on ugliness, sorrow and hardship then that is what will expand in your life.
How Are You Playing the Game of Life?
How do you score on the five steps to a great life? Are you a choice maker and a player in the game of life? Do you have the self discipline to follow up on your choices and develop the mental and emotion strength and fitness to be a great player in the game? Do you see the beauty, joy, health, wealth and opportunity that life offers?
The answers to those simple questions determine what your life is like today and what it will be like tomorrow. The choice is yours.
Acclaimed Author & Success Coach, James Delrojo
will show you how to turn your life around in just 30 days
and unlock the flood gates of success. You Deserve Success!
Go to http://www.SuccessIn30days.com
Problem solving
Problem solving has become a skill that is practiced by few and in demand by many. Instead of solving our own problems, we hire someone else to do it for us. People hire professionals to solve all sorts of problems that most people used to deal with themselves. While this may create a comfortable barrier for some, it also provides the opportunity for others to make major league mistakes in our name.
Just ask anyone in the corporate workplace how many times they wished that an email or memo sent out in their name had been looked over or proof read more carefully. Ask any client of a tax preparation service who has been called for an audit or fined whether or not it was worth it to have someone else prepare his or her return. Most decisions to allow others to take care of your problems come from what you may perceive as lack of time to do it yourself.
We are all overwhelmed with information, communication and time issues. People demand immediate answers to lengthy emails, memos, letters or phone calls. Tax and other official forms get longer and more complicated each year. Just keeping your car registration, driver"s license or even a library card up to date seems to require answers to several dozen questions and a visit to some place where you have to take a number and wait four hours to see someone who resents helping you. Just paying your bills each month can turn into a monotonous chore. Therefore, you take some shortcuts.
You sign up for online bill pay with your bank. You allow auto-pay to handle whatever bill pay cannot. You pay an extra fee or two to avoid standing in line for some license or card renewal. You write a couple of sentences and allow staff members to fill in the blanks when it comes to emails, letters or memos. You handle a few important calls by saying hello, and then turn the call over to someone else to hammer out the details. On the surface, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with all of this. Everything is right with the world until the system fails you.
You start being over-charged by your utility, cable or phone company even after they promised a practically infallible system of monthly auto-pay. Despite using bill pay through a bank or payment system, your credit card, vehicle or revolving charge payments start arriving late leaving you stuck with fees and credit problems. Friends, business associates and family members become annoyed with you because they receive impersonal emails, letters or phone calls from someone other then you. You become a victim of identity theft because of all those time saving forms you filled out on line.
At some point, you become aware that handling things and solving problems yourself can have some distinct advantages. It"s all about learning how to face the problem monsters, successfully defeat them and confront the time wasters who create these horrors. The truth is that no one has time for every demand that people like placing on him or her. I have seen more then a few people simply implode and run away from families, jobs and schools because the pressure got to them. It didn't have to go that far if they had been willing to try to solve even the smallest of their problems. It"s not the big problems that defeat us, but a thousand small ones.
Becoming a problem solver means creating a realistic limit on the things that place demands on your daily life. It means prioritizing. You can"t take Aunt Suzy shopping, answer all your communications, attend the wedding of your third cousin removed, watch your children"s ballgame and take your wife out for lunch, all at the same time. You have to learn how to say, "No." You cannot allow people to send you on any number of endless guilt trips because you do not have the time to do what everyone expects of you. Their expectations are based on their own needs, not yours. They are the ones who ought to feel guilty.
Successful problem solving means learning to balance your personal and professional life. This often means making some hard choices. There are many wealthy people out there today worth millions of dollars who also have two or more ex-spouses and lots of child support payments. That"s because few relationships can stand up to one partner working a twelve or fourteen hour day and the other doing everything else.
If work is your life, keep your personal choices wide open and avoid walking down the wedding aisle. If marriage, a long-term relationship and children are important to you, make sure you have the time needed to invest in those things. Choose your job or business with your personal life in mind. Remember, no one will ever take care better of your family, job or business better then you. This doesn't mean micro managing. It does mean being able to be around when your needed for tough business decisions or family responsibilities. Since you cannot be everywhere at once, you need to limit the number of issues that will require your personal attention at any one time.
Being a good problem solver also means becoming a tough negotiator. People have to understand that you are not like the rest of the crowd that will often cave in to avoid a confrontation. That doesn't mean that you always have to bring a machine gun to the negotiating table. Sometimes you can bring a jar of honey. The idea is to find out what your opponent needs to complete the deal. As long as you"re not on the losing end, what does it matter? If negotiating is an important skill for a problem solver to possess, being able to communicate successfully is vital.
Too many people write long-winded letters, emails or memos. Others leave long provocative voice messages. They will do this because they lack good communication skills or simply want to make themselves look self-important and put you on the spot. Such communications are often pointless time wasters, but still require a response. If you can actually figure out what they are trying to say, respond with a short answer and leave the door open for future discussion at your convenience. If it"s just a communication designed to get your goat, send a prepared, form-like response saying that you appreciate their input and will take it into consideration. The good book offers some great advice on this. It tells us to ignore a foolish question. Otherwise, in trying to answer, we sound as foolish as the person who asked it.
The final piece of the problem solver puzzle involves being prepared for any eventuality. Decide, in advance, how you will respond to most any situation. This puts you in the driver"s seat and takes the momentary advantage of surprise away from any competitor, adversary or opponent. The most successful people in the world are those who have been able to take charge of their lives in every way. They are also the most dangerous to their competition. Taking charge means being ready for what life throws at you, limiting the number of demands on your time, handling your own finances and controlling your own destiny.
Just ask anyone in the corporate workplace how many times they wished that an email or memo sent out in their name had been looked over or proof read more carefully. Ask any client of a tax preparation service who has been called for an audit or fined whether or not it was worth it to have someone else prepare his or her return. Most decisions to allow others to take care of your problems come from what you may perceive as lack of time to do it yourself.
We are all overwhelmed with information, communication and time issues. People demand immediate answers to lengthy emails, memos, letters or phone calls. Tax and other official forms get longer and more complicated each year. Just keeping your car registration, driver"s license or even a library card up to date seems to require answers to several dozen questions and a visit to some place where you have to take a number and wait four hours to see someone who resents helping you. Just paying your bills each month can turn into a monotonous chore. Therefore, you take some shortcuts.
You sign up for online bill pay with your bank. You allow auto-pay to handle whatever bill pay cannot. You pay an extra fee or two to avoid standing in line for some license or card renewal. You write a couple of sentences and allow staff members to fill in the blanks when it comes to emails, letters or memos. You handle a few important calls by saying hello, and then turn the call over to someone else to hammer out the details. On the surface, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with all of this. Everything is right with the world until the system fails you.
You start being over-charged by your utility, cable or phone company even after they promised a practically infallible system of monthly auto-pay. Despite using bill pay through a bank or payment system, your credit card, vehicle or revolving charge payments start arriving late leaving you stuck with fees and credit problems. Friends, business associates and family members become annoyed with you because they receive impersonal emails, letters or phone calls from someone other then you. You become a victim of identity theft because of all those time saving forms you filled out on line.
At some point, you become aware that handling things and solving problems yourself can have some distinct advantages. It"s all about learning how to face the problem monsters, successfully defeat them and confront the time wasters who create these horrors. The truth is that no one has time for every demand that people like placing on him or her. I have seen more then a few people simply implode and run away from families, jobs and schools because the pressure got to them. It didn't have to go that far if they had been willing to try to solve even the smallest of their problems. It"s not the big problems that defeat us, but a thousand small ones.
Becoming a problem solver means creating a realistic limit on the things that place demands on your daily life. It means prioritizing. You can"t take Aunt Suzy shopping, answer all your communications, attend the wedding of your third cousin removed, watch your children"s ballgame and take your wife out for lunch, all at the same time. You have to learn how to say, "No." You cannot allow people to send you on any number of endless guilt trips because you do not have the time to do what everyone expects of you. Their expectations are based on their own needs, not yours. They are the ones who ought to feel guilty.
Successful problem solving means learning to balance your personal and professional life. This often means making some hard choices. There are many wealthy people out there today worth millions of dollars who also have two or more ex-spouses and lots of child support payments. That"s because few relationships can stand up to one partner working a twelve or fourteen hour day and the other doing everything else.
If work is your life, keep your personal choices wide open and avoid walking down the wedding aisle. If marriage, a long-term relationship and children are important to you, make sure you have the time needed to invest in those things. Choose your job or business with your personal life in mind. Remember, no one will ever take care better of your family, job or business better then you. This doesn't mean micro managing. It does mean being able to be around when your needed for tough business decisions or family responsibilities. Since you cannot be everywhere at once, you need to limit the number of issues that will require your personal attention at any one time.
Being a good problem solver also means becoming a tough negotiator. People have to understand that you are not like the rest of the crowd that will often cave in to avoid a confrontation. That doesn't mean that you always have to bring a machine gun to the negotiating table. Sometimes you can bring a jar of honey. The idea is to find out what your opponent needs to complete the deal. As long as you"re not on the losing end, what does it matter? If negotiating is an important skill for a problem solver to possess, being able to communicate successfully is vital.
Too many people write long-winded letters, emails or memos. Others leave long provocative voice messages. They will do this because they lack good communication skills or simply want to make themselves look self-important and put you on the spot. Such communications are often pointless time wasters, but still require a response. If you can actually figure out what they are trying to say, respond with a short answer and leave the door open for future discussion at your convenience. If it"s just a communication designed to get your goat, send a prepared, form-like response saying that you appreciate their input and will take it into consideration. The good book offers some great advice on this. It tells us to ignore a foolish question. Otherwise, in trying to answer, we sound as foolish as the person who asked it.
The final piece of the problem solver puzzle involves being prepared for any eventuality. Decide, in advance, how you will respond to most any situation. This puts you in the driver"s seat and takes the momentary advantage of surprise away from any competitor, adversary or opponent. The most successful people in the world are those who have been able to take charge of their lives in every way. They are also the most dangerous to their competition. Taking charge means being ready for what life throws at you, limiting the number of demands on your time, handling your own finances and controlling your own destiny.
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