What impact does your self esteem have on your personal effectiveness, your relationships and the normal course of your daily life? How does low self esteem affect your view of what you can and cannot achieve? Indeed, what is low self-esteem, how does it even come about in the first place? Are you one of the many people that find themselves suffering from low self esteem? Would you like to learn how to build your self esteem and change your life completely?
Self esteem is all about how you value yourself as a person, how you view yourself in terms of your strengths and weakness and, indeed, how you perceive what other people think of you. Let's deal with the last one first, because it's really simple. You simply mustn't waste your time and energy worrying about what other people think of you - because they don't! Normal people - whom psychology confirms are all as mad as hatters - are far too busy worrying about what you think of them - they don't care about you! And, if you're worried about making a good impression, you can be damn sure that you're not! Because worrying splits your focus, fragments your mind, destroys your presence and disables your ability to make any kind of good impression at all. To make a good impression you must be single-minded, focused and presence - your own 'self-analysis' simply prevents you being any of those things. So, first things first - forget about other people's ideas about you - your preconceived notions about what their expectations may be have little or nothing to do with the reality of the moment and your own innate ability to make the most of it.
But then there's your own inner game - what you think of yourself. What if the voices in your head are telling you that you're no good, that you're useless or that you're a failure? What if you're playing host to mental ghosts that scream 'no you can't' instead of 'yes you can'? Or what if you feel uneasy in certain business or social situations? What if you think you're just no good when push comes to shove? Or, more subtly, what if you just have a general unease about yourself as a person of worth? Well, the first question you need to ask yourself is this: Who is judging whom? Are there two of you - one doing the judging and one being judged? Well, in a very real way, there are two of you. There's the real you - the one that's capable of achieving absolutely anything in which you believe - yes, you heard me right! And, quite separately, there's your personality - the one that has the audacity and the nerve doing the judging.
What a nerve! Because, and this is something you've got to understand, your personality is an impostor - a self-image that, like all images, is only a snapshot of the real thing. Your personality - the one with all the perceived inadequacies, is created for you during your childhood years - you learn your personality through taking snapshots of people and events that made you feel good or, more decisively, bad about yourself. Research strongly suggests that you're more likely to pay subconscious attention to the negative snapshots - and this is where your feelings of inadequacy or low self esteem are coming from - they're bubbling up from your subconscious mind, they have nothing to do with the here and now, nothing to do with who you really can be, they're simply snapshot learning that you should stop paying attention to. In other words, low self esteem is not even a figment of your own imagination, it's an accumulation of stuff that other people did to you years ago.
So don't bother trying to counter your perceived low self-esteem with positive thought or self-affirmation - you'll end up having an argument with yourself! Forget it for what it is - an illusion that has nothing today with you today in the here and now. What you have to do is train your subconscious mind to focus on that here. That will stop it in its tracks when it tries to tread the well-worn path back to focusing on the old snapshots that you embrace as part of your perceived low self esteem. You were a very high achiever during your childhood years in the fine art of paying attention to the here and now. When you got a new toy, you examined it in detail - you eyed it up, shook it and listened to it, smelled it, licked it and tasted it. Using your five senses, you were all there. You've got to relearn what it's like to be all here - not buried in childhood nightmares. You can start right now by taking five minutes. Sit somewhere where you won't be disturbed, close your eyes and simply listen to what you hear. You'll think that someone has turned up the volume - they haven't of course, it's just that you're paying attention to the present moment - perhaps for the very first time in your adult life. As you do this you may well become distracted - and, chances are, you will - simply tune into the next big sound that you hear. This 'mental training' or, in fact, meditation, will take you out of your negative fantasy and break the spell that that impostor, your personality, has been wielding over you.
Copyright (c) 2010 Willie Horton
Willie Horton has been a Personal Development expert since 1996 - working with top leaders in major organizations. An Irish ex-accountant, ex-banker, published author and keynote speaker, he travels the world, from his home in the French Alps, enabling people "live the dream". All his work - including his acclaimed Personal Development Workshop - is now online at http://www.gurdy.net
Begin Your Journey to Personal Improvement.
Showing posts with label Esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Esteem. Show all posts
Giving Your All
The act of giving your very best to the needy or charitable organization can cultivate the best emotional satisfaction in your heart. Whatever form of help you extend, be it service or something of value, you will undoubtedly receive something better in return.
Is there anything better than a simple “thank you” that is meant with sincerity? Is there anything better than an appreciation that makes you feel needed and important? Is there anything better than to see smiles on other people’s faces for having made them feel equally important and cared for?
If your physical resources are limited, you can put your talent or creativity to work. Your urge to help those in need should inspire you to find ways in accumulating resources to actualize your intention. You can come up with ideas to generate more money through fund raising programs. You may also give more of your time doing volunteer service.
In the process of giving your all, your cooperation, attention, and entire being need not be strained. You may get physically exhausted; but emotionally, you will be charged with a heart full of compliments, making you feel all-important. You will feel revitalized and invigorated. You will become more enthusiastic. All these occur because you love what you’re doing.
When you set your mind to work for a good cause, you are actually tapping and activating power that promotes health in every corner of your physical, psychological, and emotional being. Your emotions will run high in a positive manner. You will feel sentimentally contented with what you are doing. You will feel as though you’re the highest paid executive in the business; not because you’re being paid with money, but because you’re being paid with your own sense of fulfillment.
Oh yes………….when you give your all, the best will bounce back to you not to mention the boost you receive in your confidence and self esteem.
Have a confident and positive day,
JD
Would you like to volunteer?
http://www.serve.gov/index.asp
http://www.volunteermatch.org/
http://spirit.prudential.com/view/page/soc/14841
How Self Esteem Relates To Confidence
All Things Are Interconnected
Self esteem is a critical basic element that has far reaching consequences in the development of what we call our self image and personality. We rarely think about such things because they usually work in the background on an unconscious level. Self esteem normally doesn't become a problem if it is strongly positive, but when it is weak and negative it can and will affect many areas of our lives that we may not suspect it could. One such area is of course our self confidence which is also an important element with equally far reaching consequences.
By this point in our species evolution we should know that all things are interconnected and interdependent. We isolate certain things out of their context in order to study and understand them better, but we must not forget to put them back into context when we are through. Yet this is a mental habit that has become common in our society. We look at and examine a concept like self esteem as if it stands alone without a surrounding environment of other concepts which, by the way, can and do have an influence and impact on self esteem just as the condition of our self esteem influences and impacts its surrounding environment and this environment is the territory of our self image and thus our well being.
How We Perceive Ourselves
Our self image depends on how we perceive ourselves. If we view ourselves from a fundamentally negative perspective, usually resulting from early parental, peer, educational and environmental influences, this view will propagate throughout other areas of our makeup. A fundamentally positive perspective will propagate in the same way but with different results. Perceiving ourselves from a negative position will produce a weak self identity and a weak self identity will be compatible with low self esteem. Feelings of inferiority, self consciousness and isolation are common indicators of low self esteem. There is no social life because you feel that everyone is better than you and so you cannot meet others on equal ground.
To expect self confidence to develop in an environment such as this is like trying to plant seeds in the desert and then wondering why they don't grow. Self confidence results from a succession of successes and usually is developed in early childhood by caring, intelligent and aware parents. But even without this early advantage a person can develop confidence on their own if they have enough strength of character or a strong positive self image, these, and an intelligent understanding that mistakes are only learning opportunities and not the end of the world, and that failures are only temporary setbacks to successful outcomes. Self confidence is not likely to develop in the presents of low self esteem because low self esteem may lead to too many failures and result in the fear of trying. Without trying, there can be no successes and without successes how will self confidence arise?
Repairing The Damaged Self
As you probably realize, repairing a damaged self image isn't something that will occur over night, although it can in special situations and circumstances. But for most of us we have to break a sweat and invest a great deal of effort in the form of desire, commitment, determination, patience and faith. Over the last decade the self help industry has matured enormously having first gone through its adolescents which was seemingly populated by quick buck artist of every kind. Usually once a genuine need makes itself known, genuine resources to address those needs will come along, driven of course by economics like everything else.
While resources like meditation and yoga and affirmations and creative visualizations are very powerful in the self help world, when it comes to self image and self esteem, at least in the initial stages, I think that the self hypnosis programs out there are good because they deliver quick result and the sooner we can get some positive self perceptions going, the sooner we can get some successes under our belt and get more confidence in ourselves that will in turn lead to more efforts, more successes and more confidence. Give it a try. But either way, it is going to take some time to get lasting meaningful changes made, but you are not alone, there are many of us out here on the journey of self improvement and we know what you are up against and we know you can do it!
Self esteem is a critical basic element that has far reaching consequences in the development of what we call our self image and personality. We rarely think about such things because they usually work in the background on an unconscious level. Self esteem normally doesn't become a problem if it is strongly positive, but when it is weak and negative it can and will affect many areas of our lives that we may not suspect it could. One such area is of course our self confidence which is also an important element with equally far reaching consequences.
By this point in our species evolution we should know that all things are interconnected and interdependent. We isolate certain things out of their context in order to study and understand them better, but we must not forget to put them back into context when we are through. Yet this is a mental habit that has become common in our society. We look at and examine a concept like self esteem as if it stands alone without a surrounding environment of other concepts which, by the way, can and do have an influence and impact on self esteem just as the condition of our self esteem influences and impacts its surrounding environment and this environment is the territory of our self image and thus our well being.
How We Perceive Ourselves
Our self image depends on how we perceive ourselves. If we view ourselves from a fundamentally negative perspective, usually resulting from early parental, peer, educational and environmental influences, this view will propagate throughout other areas of our makeup. A fundamentally positive perspective will propagate in the same way but with different results. Perceiving ourselves from a negative position will produce a weak self identity and a weak self identity will be compatible with low self esteem. Feelings of inferiority, self consciousness and isolation are common indicators of low self esteem. There is no social life because you feel that everyone is better than you and so you cannot meet others on equal ground.
To expect self confidence to develop in an environment such as this is like trying to plant seeds in the desert and then wondering why they don't grow. Self confidence results from a succession of successes and usually is developed in early childhood by caring, intelligent and aware parents. But even without this early advantage a person can develop confidence on their own if they have enough strength of character or a strong positive self image, these, and an intelligent understanding that mistakes are only learning opportunities and not the end of the world, and that failures are only temporary setbacks to successful outcomes. Self confidence is not likely to develop in the presents of low self esteem because low self esteem may lead to too many failures and result in the fear of trying. Without trying, there can be no successes and without successes how will self confidence arise?
Repairing The Damaged Self
As you probably realize, repairing a damaged self image isn't something that will occur over night, although it can in special situations and circumstances. But for most of us we have to break a sweat and invest a great deal of effort in the form of desire, commitment, determination, patience and faith. Over the last decade the self help industry has matured enormously having first gone through its adolescents which was seemingly populated by quick buck artist of every kind. Usually once a genuine need makes itself known, genuine resources to address those needs will come along, driven of course by economics like everything else.
While resources like meditation and yoga and affirmations and creative visualizations are very powerful in the self help world, when it comes to self image and self esteem, at least in the initial stages, I think that the self hypnosis programs out there are good because they deliver quick result and the sooner we can get some positive self perceptions going, the sooner we can get some successes under our belt and get more confidence in ourselves that will in turn lead to more efforts, more successes and more confidence. Give it a try. But either way, it is going to take some time to get lasting meaningful changes made, but you are not alone, there are many of us out here on the journey of self improvement and we know what you are up against and we know you can do it!
Tips For Raising Self Esteem And Self Confidence
The Negative Programming
A condition of low self esteem is like a corrosive acid that eats away at our self image until we are paralyzed to act affectively and achieve success or self confidence of any kind. We find ourselves caught in a downward spiral of negative thoughts and perceptions that feed on themselves and can destroy any chance of happiness or a productive life. But once caught in this spiral is there any way we can turn things around and begin to set ourselves on a more positive and constructive course? Yes there is! We can begin to pay attention to how we engage in our own self defeating behaviors and redesign the processes in order to turn loose a wave of positive energy that will eventually wash away the negative mindset and replace it with a positive one.
Where we first acquire our initial negative self image is usually during our early years from peers, family or other authority figures but it isn't necessary to dwell on this for the purposes of correcting the situation other than to know about the process of conditioning by which we allow such programming to become deeply established until we ourselves become the source of the negative influences. For example; negative ideas about ourselves we got from our parents, will be perpetuated by us long after we leave the sphere of influence of our family and as long as we remain unaware of these processes.
Engage In Practical Positive Activities
The strategy here is to first make a firm commitment based on a genuine desire to change some behavior, in this case negative behavior. We can begin by taking some practical measures such as doing things to care for ourselves. These can range from personal care and grooming to paying attention to your own needs such as the need for companionship, solitude, eating healthy foods, exercise, doing things you like, get some things done that you may have been putting off, learn some new things etc.
This may seem like a strange approach, but low self esteem is an insidious influence that tends to shut down all activities and when we begin to engage in practical positive activities we begin to turn things around. This also begins to revitalize and reestablish our enthusiasm for living life which soon begins to feed on itself and grow strong, just as the low self esteem feeds on itself and grows strong. The processes are the same, we are just changing the content and goals.
Develop Self Awareness
Replacing any and all negative thoughts and views about ourselves is a matter of first identifying the negative thought patterns that are working just beyond our consciousness to keep our negative self image in place. Thoughts such as 'I'm stupid', 'I can't do anything right' when we make a mistake. Or when we fail at something, assuming our low self esteem lets us try something in the first place, we feel like it is the end of everything and that all is lost. Flagging such negative thoughts is difficult at first but gets easier with practice and is essential if we are to replace them with positive counter thoughts and ideas.
You need to develop the self discipline of self awareness, you need to listen to your self talk which will lead you to the negative thoughts that need replacing, examine those thoughts when you identify them and verify if they are true and accurate, develop positive thoughts to counter the existing negative thoughts. This of course is the process of revealing the problem behaviors so that we can begin to take control of the influences that affect our lives in whatever way, so that we can exercise the power of choice.
The Application Of Change
Take advantage of the tools of self change. From meditation to yoga, self talk to self hypnosis, creative visualization to affirmations. Use these tools to engage in an aggressive strategy for positive change. From creating affirmative lists of your qualities, skills, talents and gifts, to reinforcing a positive self image by acknowledging yourself and your successes and achievements, to using creative visualization to build a new vision / image of yourself, change is possible. Develop positive affirmations and visit them daily.
If you started off with a genuine desire and commitment and you bring determination, perseverance, will, faith and patience to the task, all of which are the characteristics of the success mindset, you can't possibly fail. Along this journey you will encounter obstacles and resistances because the old established regime won't give up easily. But if you adopt an attitude of take no prisoners and accept no defeat, you will succeed.
Here is a good resource designed to help you gain self esteem and confidence.
Guest author Robert Darby is a self change and personal development specialist who writes for many organizations including The Agenda Of Life Foundation He focuses on developing personal power and development since that is usually the cause of all Human problems. Largely due to his fearless exploration of the true nature of our inner reality, R.E. Darby is emerging as an important writer of our time.
A condition of low self esteem is like a corrosive acid that eats away at our self image until we are paralyzed to act affectively and achieve success or self confidence of any kind. We find ourselves caught in a downward spiral of negative thoughts and perceptions that feed on themselves and can destroy any chance of happiness or a productive life. But once caught in this spiral is there any way we can turn things around and begin to set ourselves on a more positive and constructive course? Yes there is! We can begin to pay attention to how we engage in our own self defeating behaviors and redesign the processes in order to turn loose a wave of positive energy that will eventually wash away the negative mindset and replace it with a positive one.
Where we first acquire our initial negative self image is usually during our early years from peers, family or other authority figures but it isn't necessary to dwell on this for the purposes of correcting the situation other than to know about the process of conditioning by which we allow such programming to become deeply established until we ourselves become the source of the negative influences. For example; negative ideas about ourselves we got from our parents, will be perpetuated by us long after we leave the sphere of influence of our family and as long as we remain unaware of these processes.
Engage In Practical Positive Activities
The strategy here is to first make a firm commitment based on a genuine desire to change some behavior, in this case negative behavior. We can begin by taking some practical measures such as doing things to care for ourselves. These can range from personal care and grooming to paying attention to your own needs such as the need for companionship, solitude, eating healthy foods, exercise, doing things you like, get some things done that you may have been putting off, learn some new things etc.
This may seem like a strange approach, but low self esteem is an insidious influence that tends to shut down all activities and when we begin to engage in practical positive activities we begin to turn things around. This also begins to revitalize and reestablish our enthusiasm for living life which soon begins to feed on itself and grow strong, just as the low self esteem feeds on itself and grows strong. The processes are the same, we are just changing the content and goals.
Develop Self Awareness
Replacing any and all negative thoughts and views about ourselves is a matter of first identifying the negative thought patterns that are working just beyond our consciousness to keep our negative self image in place. Thoughts such as 'I'm stupid', 'I can't do anything right' when we make a mistake. Or when we fail at something, assuming our low self esteem lets us try something in the first place, we feel like it is the end of everything and that all is lost. Flagging such negative thoughts is difficult at first but gets easier with practice and is essential if we are to replace them with positive counter thoughts and ideas.
You need to develop the self discipline of self awareness, you need to listen to your self talk which will lead you to the negative thoughts that need replacing, examine those thoughts when you identify them and verify if they are true and accurate, develop positive thoughts to counter the existing negative thoughts. This of course is the process of revealing the problem behaviors so that we can begin to take control of the influences that affect our lives in whatever way, so that we can exercise the power of choice.
The Application Of Change
Take advantage of the tools of self change. From meditation to yoga, self talk to self hypnosis, creative visualization to affirmations. Use these tools to engage in an aggressive strategy for positive change. From creating affirmative lists of your qualities, skills, talents and gifts, to reinforcing a positive self image by acknowledging yourself and your successes and achievements, to using creative visualization to build a new vision / image of yourself, change is possible. Develop positive affirmations and visit them daily.
If you started off with a genuine desire and commitment and you bring determination, perseverance, will, faith and patience to the task, all of which are the characteristics of the success mindset, you can't possibly fail. Along this journey you will encounter obstacles and resistances because the old established regime won't give up easily. But if you adopt an attitude of take no prisoners and accept no defeat, you will succeed.
Here is a good resource designed to help you gain self esteem and confidence.
Guest author Robert Darby is a self change and personal development specialist who writes for many organizations including The Agenda Of Life Foundation He focuses on developing personal power and development since that is usually the cause of all Human problems. Largely due to his fearless exploration of the true nature of our inner reality, R.E. Darby is emerging as an important writer of our time.
Self-Love = Positive Self esteem!
Self esteem issues seems to be one of the strongest emotions that challenge many women today. It has become a woman's first worry when she awakens, and her last worry before she sleeps.
It is said that we are all born with a natural self-esteem, but through the worlds concerns about power and control, we have been trained to worry about what others think of us and how we can please them. We have forgotten how to love ourselves and treat ourselves with respect. We are taught that loving ourselves is selfish and will only make us appear conceited, which will turn people off. If we are not allowed to learn how to love ourselves, then how can we learn to allow others to love us? We cannot feel love and positive esteem for ourselves if we focus all of it on others first. If we do, we then run the risk of offering all of our inner feelings to someone and not getting anything in return. At this point we begin to feel resentment, cheated and even lower in our ability to ever love again.
People that have scars from resentment and abuse are the hardest people to love. They have the highest low self-esteem walls to climb. In short, they are unreachable. This is not a good thing at all.
When a person says in all honesty that they are suffering from a low self-esteem issue, I take that very seriously. This is a true cry for help. They are at the bottom of their pit and are asking for help to get out. They are at a point where they will expect you to love them and take care of them as they would themselves. In other words, we all know the worst thing a person can do is expect their partner to be a mind reader. Well, when a person is suffering from a low self-esteem, trust me, they do expect just that. They will expect for you to just know what they need. They only have faith in you. They have lost faith in themselves long ago and they have no recourse. This places a very huge burden on your shoulders as their partner. This is not a good thing!
No one will ever be able to feel what another person feels inside. No one will ever be able to love another as they can love themselves. No one can read our minds. No one can do for us, what needs to be done to make us feel inner peace. It is our responsibility to ourselves to love us first. You really must know who you are to start. To be able to fulfill your needs and desires and goals in life, you need to identify with your wants. You cannot do any of this if you do not focus on you. You need to be all about you for a time. No one can do this for you, so just do it!
This is called finding your space. Your space is a very, very important place to just find yourself in peace with no distractions. Just you and your thoughts. Learning about your self-esteem also means that you must come to terms with this question, "How badly do you want to have a higher self-esteem" ? If you really want it, then you will find it. You have been trained to un-love yourself, so it is not impossible to retrain yourself to love you again. Your environment is also important in helping you feel positive vibes. For you to truly accept yourself unconditionally, you must look beyond the simple quick fix motto's that are plaguing television and magazines, such as diets that will make you a better you, or take this pill and you will be a new you. Ugh, there are so many misconceptions out there. It seriously boils down to your mind and your heart. Love yourself as you want to be loved. Love yourself as you want to love someone! Just be you! That is a very good thing!
Remember, "HABITS"? Well that's exactly what you need to do. Create loving you habits and respecting you habits. Think of it as your very first self-esteem day. You wake up, you stretch and hug your partner or just yourself. Even hugging your pillow is a good hug. You have no memory of any other feelings. You love yourself. You have no other intention but to take care of you. You look in the mirror and stick your tongue out and roll your eyes inward and smile! Smile at you because you love who you are. Ti's a very good thing to be able to smile at you for no other reason than it is good to be you!
Please do not get me wrong here. Life will still challenge you with its ups and downs. You will still have to deal with all the negative things that your day will unravel. But the difference is, you will be doing it from clear, fresh, positive self-esteem eyes. Nothing will defeat you in the end. Oh, it may give you a run for your money, but you will override all of it with your smiles and love for yourself. Imagine the confidence that will shine inside of you. Your reactions will be out of love and understanding. They will no longer be from resentment and hate. This is a good thing!
Remember also that anything worth having does not come easily. Once it has been attained or learned, it remains forever. This too is a good thing! Many women have experienced the highs and the lows of self-esteem, you are so not alone in this battle to find a better you!
To finally have the gift of self-esteem will not bring you happiness, that is something that comes after. But it will bring you a deep awareness of who you are. A new respect for you. A genuine love for yourself and the confidence to soar! Finding your self-esteem saves your world, not anyone else's. But it does give you the strength to help others to find theirs. So Ladies, please follow me into the world of a very high self esteem.
Dorothy Lafrinere
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
It is said that we are all born with a natural self-esteem, but through the worlds concerns about power and control, we have been trained to worry about what others think of us and how we can please them. We have forgotten how to love ourselves and treat ourselves with respect. We are taught that loving ourselves is selfish and will only make us appear conceited, which will turn people off. If we are not allowed to learn how to love ourselves, then how can we learn to allow others to love us? We cannot feel love and positive esteem for ourselves if we focus all of it on others first. If we do, we then run the risk of offering all of our inner feelings to someone and not getting anything in return. At this point we begin to feel resentment, cheated and even lower in our ability to ever love again.
People that have scars from resentment and abuse are the hardest people to love. They have the highest low self-esteem walls to climb. In short, they are unreachable. This is not a good thing at all.
When a person says in all honesty that they are suffering from a low self-esteem issue, I take that very seriously. This is a true cry for help. They are at the bottom of their pit and are asking for help to get out. They are at a point where they will expect you to love them and take care of them as they would themselves. In other words, we all know the worst thing a person can do is expect their partner to be a mind reader. Well, when a person is suffering from a low self-esteem, trust me, they do expect just that. They will expect for you to just know what they need. They only have faith in you. They have lost faith in themselves long ago and they have no recourse. This places a very huge burden on your shoulders as their partner. This is not a good thing!
No one will ever be able to feel what another person feels inside. No one will ever be able to love another as they can love themselves. No one can read our minds. No one can do for us, what needs to be done to make us feel inner peace. It is our responsibility to ourselves to love us first. You really must know who you are to start. To be able to fulfill your needs and desires and goals in life, you need to identify with your wants. You cannot do any of this if you do not focus on you. You need to be all about you for a time. No one can do this for you, so just do it!
This is called finding your space. Your space is a very, very important place to just find yourself in peace with no distractions. Just you and your thoughts. Learning about your self-esteem also means that you must come to terms with this question, "How badly do you want to have a higher self-esteem" ? If you really want it, then you will find it. You have been trained to un-love yourself, so it is not impossible to retrain yourself to love you again. Your environment is also important in helping you feel positive vibes. For you to truly accept yourself unconditionally, you must look beyond the simple quick fix motto's that are plaguing television and magazines, such as diets that will make you a better you, or take this pill and you will be a new you. Ugh, there are so many misconceptions out there. It seriously boils down to your mind and your heart. Love yourself as you want to be loved. Love yourself as you want to love someone! Just be you! That is a very good thing!
Remember, "HABITS"? Well that's exactly what you need to do. Create loving you habits and respecting you habits. Think of it as your very first self-esteem day. You wake up, you stretch and hug your partner or just yourself. Even hugging your pillow is a good hug. You have no memory of any other feelings. You love yourself. You have no other intention but to take care of you. You look in the mirror and stick your tongue out and roll your eyes inward and smile! Smile at you because you love who you are. Ti's a very good thing to be able to smile at you for no other reason than it is good to be you!
Please do not get me wrong here. Life will still challenge you with its ups and downs. You will still have to deal with all the negative things that your day will unravel. But the difference is, you will be doing it from clear, fresh, positive self-esteem eyes. Nothing will defeat you in the end. Oh, it may give you a run for your money, but you will override all of it with your smiles and love for yourself. Imagine the confidence that will shine inside of you. Your reactions will be out of love and understanding. They will no longer be from resentment and hate. This is a good thing!
Remember also that anything worth having does not come easily. Once it has been attained or learned, it remains forever. This too is a good thing! Many women have experienced the highs and the lows of self-esteem, you are so not alone in this battle to find a better you!
To finally have the gift of self-esteem will not bring you happiness, that is something that comes after. But it will bring you a deep awareness of who you are. A new respect for you. A genuine love for yourself and the confidence to soar! Finding your self-esteem saves your world, not anyone else's. But it does give you the strength to help others to find theirs. So Ladies, please follow me into the world of a very high self esteem.
Dorothy Lafrinere
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Start Now Before It Is Too Late... Or Else!
Be determined to improve your self esteem and you are on your way to great achievement.
Do not let a low self esteem ruin your life. The way you think about yourself determines how you interact with others.
What are some examples of low esteem aspects in you mind that you need improvement on?
1. Nothing you do seems to go right
2. You believe that most people do not like you.
3. You believe that you are not attractive.
4. You choose something and it turns out to be the worst one.
5. You are afraid to converse with others for fear that what you say might not make sense.
6. You feel swallowed up in a whirlpool of frustration.
What’s wrong with you? Your thoughts, actually.
Stop thinking that the world is closing in on you. Get determined to achieve what you desire. Stop blaming other people for your misfortunes. The world is not your problem, you are your own problem.
From this moment on, begin the process of self esteem improvement. Think the right way and be determined to win, and win you will. Just remember that success never comes easily and that is why determination is its counterpart.
Oftentimes, one gets to the brink of success and with just a little disappointment or setback, they lose heart and give up too easily and too soon. A surefire candidate to low self esteem improvement. Who knows what great things might have been achieved if only they had persevered.
Without a high self esteem, your life could be rather boring. Change your thinking and begin to see yourself on top of the world. Make a very special effort to be what you really want to be.
You have to seriously decide either to remain in a miserable state of low self esteem, or acquire self esteem improvement and develop a high self esteem with good character and self image.
The origin of low self esteem.
A low self esteem could begin way back in childhood when children are made to believe that they are worthless. Their self confidence is eroded and they succumb to the idea that they can never achieve success in anything that they do. They were picked on, laughed at, pushed around, called ugly names, and treated with disdain. No wonder they grew up to be full of resentment.
If that was your experience, it is time you cut yourself loose from that mindset and do self esteem improvement. Start reading about the life of successful persons and you will soon discover that many of them had such low self esteem that they could not even complete an elementary education.
Many decided to override their low self esteem and improve their attitude, whatever it took. They became some of the greatest men and women that ever lived.
Low self esteem has never helped anyone else and it sure will not help you. It can only drive you into depression, anger, grudge, fear and all the other evils that it generates.
Re-program your thinking and control your state of mind. You must believe that you are worth much more than you think or you will remain at the foot of the ladder and never make an attempt to climb it.
Do not waste your life away with feelings of inadequacies. Instead, think of ways to go about self esteem improvement. Success is yours, just reach out and grasp it.
Develop a healthy self esteem:
Do not let a low self esteem ruin your life. The way you think about yourself determines how you interact with others.
What are some examples of low esteem aspects in you mind that you need improvement on?
1. Nothing you do seems to go right
2. You believe that most people do not like you.
3. You believe that you are not attractive.
4. You choose something and it turns out to be the worst one.
5. You are afraid to converse with others for fear that what you say might not make sense.
6. You feel swallowed up in a whirlpool of frustration.
What’s wrong with you? Your thoughts, actually.
Stop thinking that the world is closing in on you. Get determined to achieve what you desire. Stop blaming other people for your misfortunes. The world is not your problem, you are your own problem.
From this moment on, begin the process of self esteem improvement. Think the right way and be determined to win, and win you will. Just remember that success never comes easily and that is why determination is its counterpart.
Oftentimes, one gets to the brink of success and with just a little disappointment or setback, they lose heart and give up too easily and too soon. A surefire candidate to low self esteem improvement. Who knows what great things might have been achieved if only they had persevered.
Without a high self esteem, your life could be rather boring. Change your thinking and begin to see yourself on top of the world. Make a very special effort to be what you really want to be.
You have to seriously decide either to remain in a miserable state of low self esteem, or acquire self esteem improvement and develop a high self esteem with good character and self image.
The origin of low self esteem.
A low self esteem could begin way back in childhood when children are made to believe that they are worthless. Their self confidence is eroded and they succumb to the idea that they can never achieve success in anything that they do. They were picked on, laughed at, pushed around, called ugly names, and treated with disdain. No wonder they grew up to be full of resentment.
If that was your experience, it is time you cut yourself loose from that mindset and do self esteem improvement. Start reading about the life of successful persons and you will soon discover that many of them had such low self esteem that they could not even complete an elementary education.
Many decided to override their low self esteem and improve their attitude, whatever it took. They became some of the greatest men and women that ever lived.
Low self esteem has never helped anyone else and it sure will not help you. It can only drive you into depression, anger, grudge, fear and all the other evils that it generates.
Re-program your thinking and control your state of mind. You must believe that you are worth much more than you think or you will remain at the foot of the ladder and never make an attempt to climb it.
Do not waste your life away with feelings of inadequacies. Instead, think of ways to go about self esteem improvement. Success is yours, just reach out and grasp it.
Develop a healthy self esteem:
You Are Not Who You Think You Are
David sat in front of me at one of my five-day intensive workshops. A successful businessman with a wife and two grown children, David believed that he was not good enough.
“I’m insufficient,” he said. “I’m inadequate.”
I looked at this kind man and felt deep sadness for him. He did not know who he was.
“Why do you believe that?” I asked.
“I didn’t do well in school, and I’ve made lots of mistakes in my life.”
“So you are basing your worth on your performance, right?”
“Of course.”
David could not conceive of any other way of defining his worth other than through his performance – which he never saw as good enough.
I asked David to look inside – at the essence of himself - and tell me what he sees. All he saw was emptiness.
“David, please close your eyes. Now imagine a wonderful being who loves you very much. Who comes to mind?”
“My grandfather. He died when I was young, but he really loved me.”
“Good. Now imagine that you are seeing yourself through the eyes of your grandfather. What does your grandfather see when he looks at you?”
“He sees a bright and creative little boy, who is very kind and caring. A loving little boy. A little boy who is funny and likes to laugh, and likes to make other people laugh.”
“Is there anything wrong with this little boy? Anything inadequate or insufficient?”
“Oh no! He is a wonderful little boy.”
“David, this is who you really are. You are not your performance. Your performance will come and go and at some point you might retire and not perform at all. Yet that does not mean that you are, therefore, worthless. Your worth is in who you are, not in what you do. Your worth in intrinsic.”
David realized that, because of his highly critical and rejecting parents, he had always been trying to prove himself and always came up short in their eyes. As a result of seeing himself as unworthy and inadequate, he did not treat himself well. He treated himself the way his parents had treated him – with criticism and neglect. He was always trying to take care of everyone else, but rarely thought about taking care of himself. He was constantly abandoning himself emotionally, just as he had been emotionally abandoned by his parents.
“David, if you chose to see yourself as your grandfather saw you rather than how your parents saw you, how would you feel about yourself and how would you treat yourself?”
“I’ve just been thinking about that. I just realized that I treat my dog better than I treat myself! I would never judge my dog the way I judge myself.”
“So what would you do differently if you saw yourself the way your grandfather sees you?”
“I would stop judging myself as insufficient and inadequate. I’m a really good person. I am not at all insufficient or inadequate as a person. And I choose my friends based on who they are as people – not on their performance. So I obviously value the very qualities that I possess!”
“What else would you do if you really valued who you are?”
“I would listen to my own feelings and take care of my own needs instead of taking care of everyone elses feelings and needs. I would no longer see it as selfish to take care of myself instead of taking care of everyone else. I would be at least as attentive to myself as I am to my dog!”
David was glowing. He was discovering who he really is, not who he thought he was.
People often think that their worth – who they really are – is based on looks and performance. Yet these qualities are transitory. What is real and eternal is who you are in your heart and soul. If you shift your definition of your worth from outer to inner, you will stop trying to prove yourself. You will know that you are already a beautiful being, totally deserving of love.
Develop a healthy self esteem:
“I’m insufficient,” he said. “I’m inadequate.”
I looked at this kind man and felt deep sadness for him. He did not know who he was.
“Why do you believe that?” I asked.
“I didn’t do well in school, and I’ve made lots of mistakes in my life.”
“So you are basing your worth on your performance, right?”
“Of course.”
David could not conceive of any other way of defining his worth other than through his performance – which he never saw as good enough.
I asked David to look inside – at the essence of himself - and tell me what he sees. All he saw was emptiness.
“David, please close your eyes. Now imagine a wonderful being who loves you very much. Who comes to mind?”
“My grandfather. He died when I was young, but he really loved me.”
“Good. Now imagine that you are seeing yourself through the eyes of your grandfather. What does your grandfather see when he looks at you?”
“He sees a bright and creative little boy, who is very kind and caring. A loving little boy. A little boy who is funny and likes to laugh, and likes to make other people laugh.”
“Is there anything wrong with this little boy? Anything inadequate or insufficient?”
“Oh no! He is a wonderful little boy.”
“David, this is who you really are. You are not your performance. Your performance will come and go and at some point you might retire and not perform at all. Yet that does not mean that you are, therefore, worthless. Your worth is in who you are, not in what you do. Your worth in intrinsic.”
David realized that, because of his highly critical and rejecting parents, he had always been trying to prove himself and always came up short in their eyes. As a result of seeing himself as unworthy and inadequate, he did not treat himself well. He treated himself the way his parents had treated him – with criticism and neglect. He was always trying to take care of everyone else, but rarely thought about taking care of himself. He was constantly abandoning himself emotionally, just as he had been emotionally abandoned by his parents.
“David, if you chose to see yourself as your grandfather saw you rather than how your parents saw you, how would you feel about yourself and how would you treat yourself?”
“I’ve just been thinking about that. I just realized that I treat my dog better than I treat myself! I would never judge my dog the way I judge myself.”
“So what would you do differently if you saw yourself the way your grandfather sees you?”
“I would stop judging myself as insufficient and inadequate. I’m a really good person. I am not at all insufficient or inadequate as a person. And I choose my friends based on who they are as people – not on their performance. So I obviously value the very qualities that I possess!”
“What else would you do if you really valued who you are?”
“I would listen to my own feelings and take care of my own needs instead of taking care of everyone elses feelings and needs. I would no longer see it as selfish to take care of myself instead of taking care of everyone else. I would be at least as attentive to myself as I am to my dog!”
David was glowing. He was discovering who he really is, not who he thought he was.
People often think that their worth – who they really are – is based on looks and performance. Yet these qualities are transitory. What is real and eternal is who you are in your heart and soul. If you shift your definition of your worth from outer to inner, you will stop trying to prove yourself. You will know that you are already a beautiful being, totally deserving of love.
Develop a healthy self esteem:
7 Steps to Achieving Healthy Self-Esteem
The happiest people are those who do not judge others, live in kindness and love themselves. Do you ever see someone who is perpetually happy and wish you could be like them? You CAN achieve a healthy self-esteem…it takes time and effort. Following are seven steps to help you on your way to becoming a happier, healthier YOU.
1. IDENTIFY
One is not required to live by “I have to” or “I must” – everything we do is a result of a decision…a choice. Choices made in our younger years and choices made this morning when we woke up. Everything is a choice: to obey or disobey; to study or not study; to eat right or not eat right. When making these choices, we control everything about our lives including our future and our level of self-awareness. When you see a wise, confident, beautiful person – it’s not luck, it’s choice. Once you realize and accept this, only then can you begin to become who it is you want to be. All of us are given gifts…special gifts and talents. Through self-discovery, we are able to identify these gifts. If we pay attention to who we are and what makes us happy, we will make the right choices to set our own future.
2. EVALUATE
Who are you? Look at yourself and be honest. Write on a piece of paper the things you like (Pros) and don’t like (Cons) about you. If you are (and you should be) your own best friend, you should be able to take a look at the Cons and develop a plan to begin moving those negatives over to the positive side. Likewise, you should take a look at your Pros and develop a plan to make sure those positive attributes remain on the positive side and continue to grow on the inside AND the outside of you. As you work out a plan, try to find people with like personalities who share your same goals. These are the very people that will make great friends and help you stay on your set path.
3. CONFIRM
Talk to yourself! Still using your list of Pros, begin reinforcing the positive attributes of your personality. I AM…. “I am successful”, “I am pretty”, “I am fun!”... every positive thought should be repeated often – YOU are WHAT you THINK!!!
4. FORGIVE
Forgive yourself for screw ups! They happen to all of us! We are as imperfect as our bodies!! Give yourself a break – forgive and move on. You can’t change the past – but you can live in the present and affect the future!
5. REST
Treat yourself right. Be a friend, a good listener, a giver, not a taker – we feel the best about ourselves when we make someone else smile.
6. BE THANKFUL
Gratitude will get you everywhere. Give thanks to your creator. Be humble in all you have. Pray for those with cold hearts or sad lives. Really know what you have; all of the gifts, talents, and things you possess. Here today, gone tomorrow…if you live your life with gratitude and love, peace will always be in your presence.
7. ACCEPTANCE
Do not accept your fate dictated by others. Accept only the fate you give yourself. Through acts of kindness and focused determination, you can achieve all that is good in this life. When you believe in kindness and in yourself – you can achieve anything. At that point self-esteem is abundant and so is your life.
Know yourself. Like yourself. Live your life like everyone is only in their underwear!
Develop a healthy self esteem:
1. IDENTIFY
One is not required to live by “I have to” or “I must” – everything we do is a result of a decision…a choice. Choices made in our younger years and choices made this morning when we woke up. Everything is a choice: to obey or disobey; to study or not study; to eat right or not eat right. When making these choices, we control everything about our lives including our future and our level of self-awareness. When you see a wise, confident, beautiful person – it’s not luck, it’s choice. Once you realize and accept this, only then can you begin to become who it is you want to be. All of us are given gifts…special gifts and talents. Through self-discovery, we are able to identify these gifts. If we pay attention to who we are and what makes us happy, we will make the right choices to set our own future.
2. EVALUATE
Who are you? Look at yourself and be honest. Write on a piece of paper the things you like (Pros) and don’t like (Cons) about you. If you are (and you should be) your own best friend, you should be able to take a look at the Cons and develop a plan to begin moving those negatives over to the positive side. Likewise, you should take a look at your Pros and develop a plan to make sure those positive attributes remain on the positive side and continue to grow on the inside AND the outside of you. As you work out a plan, try to find people with like personalities who share your same goals. These are the very people that will make great friends and help you stay on your set path.
3. CONFIRM
Talk to yourself! Still using your list of Pros, begin reinforcing the positive attributes of your personality. I AM…. “I am successful”, “I am pretty”, “I am fun!”... every positive thought should be repeated often – YOU are WHAT you THINK!!!
4. FORGIVE
Forgive yourself for screw ups! They happen to all of us! We are as imperfect as our bodies!! Give yourself a break – forgive and move on. You can’t change the past – but you can live in the present and affect the future!
5. REST
Treat yourself right. Be a friend, a good listener, a giver, not a taker – we feel the best about ourselves when we make someone else smile.
6. BE THANKFUL
Gratitude will get you everywhere. Give thanks to your creator. Be humble in all you have. Pray for those with cold hearts or sad lives. Really know what you have; all of the gifts, talents, and things you possess. Here today, gone tomorrow…if you live your life with gratitude and love, peace will always be in your presence.
7. ACCEPTANCE
Do not accept your fate dictated by others. Accept only the fate you give yourself. Through acts of kindness and focused determination, you can achieve all that is good in this life. When you believe in kindness and in yourself – you can achieve anything. At that point self-esteem is abundant and so is your life.
Know yourself. Like yourself. Live your life like everyone is only in their underwear!
Develop a healthy self esteem:
Boosting Self Confidence and Self Esteem for a Better You
Without any cause for a debate or argument, everybody would agree that with a little bit more self confidence and self esteem a person can elevate his self worth. He or she can become a better person with more belief in his or her self. You can see the world in a whole new perspective and your self confidence is a big factor in this change.
The benefits of having a bolstered self confidence and self esteem are boundless, but lacking it can imprison you in a lackluster life. People would just be stepping on you and you will be completely ignored, languishing in a cellar of despair. You may never realize the full extent of your potential.
Building your Self Confidence and Self Esteem
The true key to gaining self confidence and self esteem is to truly love and believe yourself. For some people this could be very hard, especially if they grew up in an environment with out a shred of unconditional love and support. This kind of people doesn't know how it is to give love. You cannot give what you do not have.
Another key is determining which areas you are adept in. Focusing and developing the areas you are in strong in will let you fully believe in your skills. The more you see an aspect in your life that you are good in, you can finally appreciate yourself and be proud.
As you build your self confidence and self esteem, a great way to develop it is to test and challenge yourself slowly and gradually. The more challenges you conquer the better you will feel about yourself.
No need to wait, you can start building your self confidence and esteem right now, a whole world waits for those who believes and loves themselves.
Have a confident and positive day,
JD
Methods Of Self-Esteem Improvement
Many people suffer from low self esteem and lack self confidence, you'll be happy to know that there are many methods for self esteem improvement.
The first question you should ask yourself when attempting to improve your self esteem is whether there are issues that need to be addressed with a professional counselor. This is particularly true if your low self esteem is driving you to abuse alcohol or other drugs and is interfering in your life in a major way. If so, you may need to speak with a therapist or counselor who specializes in self esteem issues.
If you want to raise your self esteem but are not having major self esteem problems, then a trip to the local library or book store may help. There are hundreds of self help books, self help groups, self help tapes, self help videos to choose from as self help is a particularly hot topic these days. You may even want to hire a personal coach. These tools will help you improve your self esteem dramatically if you put the advice and recommendations that you receive into action.
One of the real keys to improving self esteem is in taking action. Many people who suffer from low self esteem often get stuck in a rut which drives their self esteem even lower. To raise self esteem, you need to set goals for yourself and then take the necessary actions to meet these goals. Just taking continual action will move you closer towards goal attainment and stop you feeling as if you are worthless and at the mercy of others.
Pay close attention to how you talk. Negative self talk is a real self esteem killer. Make a habit of trading the words “I can’t” to “I will” Having positive expectations will go along way towards increasing you self esteem.
And don't feel as if you're alone. There are thousands of people just like you that of people who suffer from low self esteem and need to improve how they look at themselves and the world around them. You are not alone and you can create the life that you dream of, you just need to start taking steps in the right direction. The sooner you start the sooner you can start enjoying your life as it was meant to be enjoyed.
Have a confident and positive day,
JD
7 Steps to Achieving Healthy Self-Esteem and confidence
The happiest people are those who do not judge others, live in kindness and love themselves. Do you ever see someone who is perpetually happy and wish you could be like them? You CAN achieve a healthy self-esteem…it takes time and effort. Following are seven steps to help you on your way to becoming a happier, healthier YOU.
1. IDENTIFY
One is not required to live by “I have to” or “I must” – everything we do is a result of a decision…a choice. Choices made in our younger years and choices made this morning when we woke up. Everything is a choice: to obey or disobey; to study or not study; to eat right or not eat right. When making these choices, we control everything about our lives including our future and our level of self-awareness. When you see a wise, confident, beautiful person – it’s not luck, it’s choice. Once you realize and accept this, only then can you begin to become who it is you want to be. All of us are given gifts…special gifts and talents. Through self-discovery, we are able to identify these gifts. If we pay attention to who we are and what makes us happy, we will make the right choices to set our own future.
2. EVALUATE
Who are you? Look at yourself and be honest. Write on a piece of paper the things you like (Pros) and don’t like (Cons) about you. If you are (and you should be) your own best friend, you should be able to take a look at the Cons and develop a plan to begin moving those negatives over to the positive side. Likewise, you should take a look at your Pros and develop a plan to make sure those positive attributes remain on the positive side and continue to grow on the inside AND the outside of you. As you work out a plan, try to find people with like personalities who share your same goals. These are the very people that will make great friends and help you stay on your set path.
3. CONFIRM
Talk to yourself! Still using your list of Pros, begin reinforcing the positive attributes of your personality. I AM…. “I am successful”, “I am pretty”, “I am fun!”... every positive thought should be repeated often – YOU are WHAT you THINK!!!
4. FORGIVE
Forgive yourself for screw ups! They happen to all of us! We are as imperfect as our bodies!! Give yourself a break – forgive and move on. You can’t change the past – but you can live in the present and affect the future!
5. REST
Treat yourself right. Be a friend, a good listener, a giver, not a taker – we feel the best about ourselves when we make someone else smile.
6. BE THANKFUL
Gratitude will get you everywhere. Give thanks to your creator. Be humble in all you have. Pray for those with cold hearts or sad lives. Really know what you have; all of the gifts, talents, and things you possess. Here today, gone tomorrow…if you live your life with gratitude and love, peace will always be in your presence.
7. ACCEPTANCE
Do not accept your fate dictated by others. Accept only the fate you give yourself. Through acts of kindness and focused determination, you can achieve all that is good in this life. When you believe in kindness and in yourself – you can achieve anything. At that point self-esteem is abundant and so is your life.
Know yourself. Like yourself. Live your life with confidence.
Have a confident and positive day,
JD
1. IDENTIFY
One is not required to live by “I have to” or “I must” – everything we do is a result of a decision…a choice. Choices made in our younger years and choices made this morning when we woke up. Everything is a choice: to obey or disobey; to study or not study; to eat right or not eat right. When making these choices, we control everything about our lives including our future and our level of self-awareness. When you see a wise, confident, beautiful person – it’s not luck, it’s choice. Once you realize and accept this, only then can you begin to become who it is you want to be. All of us are given gifts…special gifts and talents. Through self-discovery, we are able to identify these gifts. If we pay attention to who we are and what makes us happy, we will make the right choices to set our own future.
2. EVALUATE
Who are you? Look at yourself and be honest. Write on a piece of paper the things you like (Pros) and don’t like (Cons) about you. If you are (and you should be) your own best friend, you should be able to take a look at the Cons and develop a plan to begin moving those negatives over to the positive side. Likewise, you should take a look at your Pros and develop a plan to make sure those positive attributes remain on the positive side and continue to grow on the inside AND the outside of you. As you work out a plan, try to find people with like personalities who share your same goals. These are the very people that will make great friends and help you stay on your set path.
3. CONFIRM
Talk to yourself! Still using your list of Pros, begin reinforcing the positive attributes of your personality. I AM…. “I am successful”, “I am pretty”, “I am fun!”... every positive thought should be repeated often – YOU are WHAT you THINK!!!
4. FORGIVE
Forgive yourself for screw ups! They happen to all of us! We are as imperfect as our bodies!! Give yourself a break – forgive and move on. You can’t change the past – but you can live in the present and affect the future!
5. REST
Treat yourself right. Be a friend, a good listener, a giver, not a taker – we feel the best about ourselves when we make someone else smile.
6. BE THANKFUL
Gratitude will get you everywhere. Give thanks to your creator. Be humble in all you have. Pray for those with cold hearts or sad lives. Really know what you have; all of the gifts, talents, and things you possess. Here today, gone tomorrow…if you live your life with gratitude and love, peace will always be in your presence.
7. ACCEPTANCE
Do not accept your fate dictated by others. Accept only the fate you give yourself. Through acts of kindness and focused determination, you can achieve all that is good in this life. When you believe in kindness and in yourself – you can achieve anything. At that point self-esteem is abundant and so is your life.
Know yourself. Like yourself. Live your life with confidence.
Have a confident and positive day,
JD
Increase your confidence and self esteem
Whenever one is beset by a situation that he or she is unsure of - facing someone admired, having to perform in front of an audience, or simply talking to others - he or she is facing a goodly amount of stress. Confident people are usually able to face these situations without blinking; but the rest of us will probably melt away and try to run away from the situation.
For most people facing this kind of low self-esteem, these situations present an opportunity for them to make fools out of themselves. This is a very embarrassing prospect.
If you are one of the millions of people that would like to stop fidgeting in front of others, trying to squirrel out of such situations, and being so unsure of yourself when facing presentations, here are a few tips to set you on your way.
1. Competence is Confidence - Some organizations, like the Toastmasters, help those afraid to speak in public toughen up by stressing this credo - and it really works. One secret to confidence and self-esteem is to be able to trust what you are able to do. This comes with a lot of practice and study. Whenever you practice a given skill, you increase your own confidence in your capability to perform even in front of other people.
Before a big presentation, study up. Try to know everything about the topic before you step in front of the audience. If you have practiced way before the presentation, you will be in a better position to knock their socks off.
Practicing in front of supportive people you trust will help you get feedback on how to improve your performance.
2. Believe in Yourself - One of the reasons people are not confident in themselves is the fact that they are already convinced that they will fail even before anything happens. Never underestimate the power of the mind. If you believe you will fail, you indeed will! A better exercise would to be to believe that you can succeed. Set your mind towards succeeding and you probably will!
3. Take Criticisms, whether Good or Bad - Most people are bad at taking criticisms. Instead of taking the criticisms personally, use every comment and suggestion to make yourself better. However, you will also have to look out for some criticisms that were never meant to benefit you. Ignore them and move on.
4. Remain Calm at All Costs - Panicking never benefited anybody. If you are suddenly in a situation where you are unsure of what to do or what will happen, keep your composure. If you don't know the answer, say so calmly. If you do not know what to do, it would not be bad to admit it. However, beneath your cool facade, always try to keep a deliberate, quick thinking, demeanor. This itself could take a lot of practice, but it is well worth it.
5. Don't be Afraid to Fail - Many people are afraid to fail; they quit trying because they are not confident in their skills. If you are afraid to try, you will get stuck where you are. Failure can only make you better. Remember that every great man took risks and failed a lot before arriving at greatness.
6. Don't Base Your Confidence on What People Think Of You - While others opinion of you can be important, it should not sway you from thinking that you are important. They do not know you better than you do. If you free yourself from the shackles of peer opinion, you will be free to try new things and learn new skills. It does not matter if they think you cannot accomplish anything - take whatever good that can be gleaned from their advice and move on.
Have a confident and positive day,
JD
Thanks to Shaun Samuel for these great tips!
For most people facing this kind of low self-esteem, these situations present an opportunity for them to make fools out of themselves. This is a very embarrassing prospect.
If you are one of the millions of people that would like to stop fidgeting in front of others, trying to squirrel out of such situations, and being so unsure of yourself when facing presentations, here are a few tips to set you on your way.
1. Competence is Confidence - Some organizations, like the Toastmasters, help those afraid to speak in public toughen up by stressing this credo - and it really works. One secret to confidence and self-esteem is to be able to trust what you are able to do. This comes with a lot of practice and study. Whenever you practice a given skill, you increase your own confidence in your capability to perform even in front of other people.
Before a big presentation, study up. Try to know everything about the topic before you step in front of the audience. If you have practiced way before the presentation, you will be in a better position to knock their socks off.
Practicing in front of supportive people you trust will help you get feedback on how to improve your performance.
2. Believe in Yourself - One of the reasons people are not confident in themselves is the fact that they are already convinced that they will fail even before anything happens. Never underestimate the power of the mind. If you believe you will fail, you indeed will! A better exercise would to be to believe that you can succeed. Set your mind towards succeeding and you probably will!
3. Take Criticisms, whether Good or Bad - Most people are bad at taking criticisms. Instead of taking the criticisms personally, use every comment and suggestion to make yourself better. However, you will also have to look out for some criticisms that were never meant to benefit you. Ignore them and move on.
4. Remain Calm at All Costs - Panicking never benefited anybody. If you are suddenly in a situation where you are unsure of what to do or what will happen, keep your composure. If you don't know the answer, say so calmly. If you do not know what to do, it would not be bad to admit it. However, beneath your cool facade, always try to keep a deliberate, quick thinking, demeanor. This itself could take a lot of practice, but it is well worth it.
5. Don't be Afraid to Fail - Many people are afraid to fail; they quit trying because they are not confident in their skills. If you are afraid to try, you will get stuck where you are. Failure can only make you better. Remember that every great man took risks and failed a lot before arriving at greatness.
6. Don't Base Your Confidence on What People Think Of You - While others opinion of you can be important, it should not sway you from thinking that you are important. They do not know you better than you do. If you free yourself from the shackles of peer opinion, you will be free to try new things and learn new skills. It does not matter if they think you cannot accomplish anything - take whatever good that can be gleaned from their advice and move on.
Have a confident and positive day,
JD
Thanks to Shaun Samuel for these great tips!
Enjoy Your Life: Change Your Point of View
Enjoy Your Life: Change Your Point of View
"Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars."- Frederick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts
If you’ve placed second in a writing contest, will you jump for joy and push for better results the next time or will you be discouraged and find an excuse not to join again?
In life, you are always filled with choices. You may opt to have a pessimist’s view and live a self-defeated life or you may decide to take the optimist’s route and take a challenging and fulfilling life.
So why nurture an optimist’s point of view? And why now?
Well, optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity; to good health and even to long life and freedom from trauma.
On the other hand, the rates of depression and pessimism have never been higher. It affects middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people. The mean age of onset has gone from 30 to 15. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife’s disorder but also a teen-ager’s disorder’ as well.
Here’s how optimists are in action and researches that back up why it really pays to be an optimist:
Optimists expect the best
The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do, are their own fault.
The truth is optimists are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is the way they explain their misfortune---it’s the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case.
Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the 'problem' at hand. They use 'positive reinterpretation.' In other words, they most likely reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. Such people are unfazed by bad situation, they perceive it is a challenge and try harder.
They won’t say “things will never get better,” “If I failed once, it will happen again” and “If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life.”
Positive expectancies of optimists also predict better reactions during transitions to new environments, sudden tragedies and unlikely turn of events. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.
People respond positively to optimists
Optimists are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They find no need to control or manipulate people. They usually draw people towards them. Their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those they are with.
Optimism seems a socially desirable trait in all communities. Those who share optimism are generally accepted while those who spread gloom, panic and hysteria are treated unfavorably.
In life, these people often win elections; get voted most congenial and sought for advice.
When the going gets tough, optimists get tougher
Optimists typically maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress than do people who are less optimistic. In contrast, pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with problems. Pessimists are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise.
They persevere. They just don’t give up easily, they are also known for their patience. Inching their way a step closer to that goal or elusive dream.
Optimists are healthier and live longer
Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body's ability to fight disease.
Optimists’ health is unusually good. They age well, much freer than most people from the usual physical ills of middle age. And they get to outlive those prone to negative thoughts.
So why not be an optimist today? And think positively towards a more fulfilled life.
Why not look forward to success in all your endeavors? Why not be resilient? Like everybody else you are bound to hit lows sometimes but don’t just stay there. Carry yourself out of the mud and improve your chances of getting back on the right track. And why not inspire others to remove their dark-colored glasses and see life in the bright side?
Have a confident and positive day,
JD
7 Step Process to Self Improvement
There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite of how trivial it could get. But whatever happens, we should all try not to lose our own sense of self.
So what does it take to be a cut above the rest? Here are some of the things you can think and improve on that should be enough for a week.
1. Know your purpose
Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you'll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.
This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight or even dead end. But there's always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.
2. Know your values
What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for 2005 - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn't align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it.
The number shouldn't discourage you, instead it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dreamed of.
3. Know your needs
Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. List your top four needs and get them met before it's too late!
4. Know your passions
You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who has inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.
5. Live from the inside out
Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers it's hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. In my case I often just sit in a dimly lit room and play some classical music. There's sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast.
6. Honor your strengths
What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.
7. Serve others
When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.
Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. It shouldn't always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.
Have a confident and positive day!
JD
Exchanging Low Self-Esteem for High Self-Esteem
The first step in improving your self esteem has to be within. You must be determined to improve this situation and be willing to take the steps necessary to begin improving this situation. You must also accept the fact that self-esteem is something that CAN be raised intentionally.
There is no need for low self-esteem to continue to rule your life. You can take control of your thoughts and change how you perceive yourself.
So, what are some indicators of low self-esteem? See if any of these thoughts continually run through your head.
1. "People don't like me."
2. "I can't do anything right."
3. "I'm ugly."
4. "People don't listen to me."
5. "I'm always saying stupid things"
6. "I always make the wrong decision."
7. "My life is a mess and I can't do anything about it."
Remember, these are only thoughts. In many ways, life is going to GIVE you what YOU believe you deserve. What you THINK your neighbor feels about you is immaterial. What you believe about yourself is what is important.
If you want to exchange your low self-esteem for high self-esteem, you cannot just think about doing it. You have to act, and there's no reason not to start right now. Start by believing that you CAN change all these thoughts and feelings, and that making this change will change who you are and what life has in store for you.
Start with this understanding; everyone things those thoughts at some time or another. If you think those sorts of things in the future, you are not thinking about an ultimate truth. You are simply thinking a thought that is a reaction to some moment in time. Who you are is not determined by that thought.
Here's an example. Let's say I buy a lottery ticket with five numbers. That night, when they draw the winning numbers, the first four numbers are numbers I have. Then they draw the fifth number, but it is not my number. Will I feel disappointment? Of course I will. I lost! Okay, I didn't LOSE; I just wasn't the winner...in that drawing. Does that make me a loser? Of course it doesn't. A mistake you made, or think you made, a snub you got from someone, or think you got, doesn't make you a loser either. Even if you are right and you DID make a mistake or someone DID snub you, that doe not mean that everyone will snub you or that you will always make mistakes.
Just like in the little scenario above, people will often get close to success and then miss the target. In many cases, however, they miss, not because someone drew a different number than the one they wanted, but because they threw away the ticket before the drawing was finished. Many people will throw away their ticket in life's lottery even though they have four of the five numbers needed. They just cannot conceive of having the fifth number be the one they need.
Well, life is NOT a lottery, although there is an element of chance to it. Like a poker game, while all at the table are subject to the laws of chance, a better poker player tends to have more "luck" at the table. One of the skills a good poker player must have, as Kenny Rogers says, is to "Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away. Know when to run." A good poker player must also know that just because he or she won or lost the last hand. That has nothing to do with what is going to happen when the cards are shuffled and dealt again.
When we are talking about exchanging low self-esteem for high self-esteem, we are talking about learning when to let go, when to hold on, or when to walk or run away. More importantly, we are talking about the skills needed for the game of life, skills that can be learned and improved. We are also talking about realizing that each individual life event is NOT a definition of who we are.
So many times I have spoken to someone with low self-esteem after something has happened that they have added to their list of disappointments. I find two points about most of these events.
1. The person with low self-esteem may interpret a completely normal or even highly positive event as a failure
2. They focus so completely on the event that they lose sight of who they really are and what they have to offer.
A person with low self esteem will be looking for negative signs in an event, conversation, or activity. Since they are expecting outcomes to be negative, if they cannot see a real negative item, they will either invent one or interpret a positive one as a negative. As an n example, think about someone who believes that I am about to hit them. I may see that they are about to be hit by a bus, and grab for them to pull them to safety. They may see my sudden move as an attack because they are already thinking that that is what they must expect from me. They may jerk away and be hit by the bus because they were already predisposed to interpret what I did in a certain way.
One of the most common experiences I have with people who have low self-esteem is that they look only at the negative experience and use that to judge themselves completely. Often, I have begun to recite a litany of good points about them or valuable things they have done, only to have them brighten up, look at me and say, "That's right! I did do that, didn't I? I didn't think about that."
Low self-esteem is going to originate in the interpretation of a few events as being the definition of who and what you are.
To change from low self-esteem to high self-esteem, you must:
1. Realize that self-esteem, high or low, is a judgment you have made about yourself.
2. Low self-esteem is based on judgments generally made on the spot at a negative moment.
3. Self-esteem CAN be changed, and you are the only one who can change it.
Decide to make the change. Write down all the negative things that are true about you. Don't write down the negative things you THINK about yourself. Write down what is true. Don't say, "People don't like me." That's what you think. Write down, "I insult people when I see them." That is a fact.
Then, write down the positive facts about yourself. "I like people, but they don't like me." is wrong. "I like people" is a fact, and that is what you need to look at.
When your list is done, you will probably find more positive facts than negative, unless you are an ax-murderer or something. This tells you that you are a good person and deserve good from life. Take a look at the negative facts and decide how you can change them. Take a look at the positive items and decide how you can use them to make your life better.
You can exchange low self-esteem for high self-esteem. Quit worrying about how others perceive you. Live your good qualities and revel in the good and wonderful person you are. Take joy in the pleasure you give others, and your self-esteem will shoot through the roof.
You ARE a great person.
By guest author:
Donovan Baldwin
20 quick ways to greater confidence
1. Think about someone who is confident and act, talk and walk like him or her. Model their mannerisms and behavior. It works for them; it will work for you.
2. Smile a lot more. That doesn’t mean putting a silly grin on your face! But smile when you walk down the street, when you meet people and generally be happier even if you’re not feeling that way.
3. Learn from the past; don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s gone; it’s never coming back. Instead learn from it for next time.
4. Buy yourself some new clothes, get your hair done, treat yourself to something new. It will make you feel better and will give your ego a boost.
5. Are you prepared for situations? Are you prepared enough to meet any challenge that may come up? Are you prepared for that meeting, that presentation, that job interview, when you meet someone for the first time? If not, get to it.
6. Play to your strengths. Know what you are good at and expose yourself to these opportunities at every opportunity – because you’re good at it, you’ll enjoy it and have more confidence.
7. Improve your weaknesses. Know and appreciate what these are and put a plan in place to improve them over time.
8. Learn how to say no to people. Don’t be afraid, you’ve got nothing to be afraid of. Just watch the reaction on their face after you’ve said it the first time and there will be no going back.
9. Be positive. Look on the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future.
10. Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It’s just a question that you’ve asked yourself and the thought is you’re answer. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Change the questions to be more positive.
11. Whenever you feel a negative thought coming, STOP, THINK, and say is this really important in the grand scheme of things. A lot of the time it isn’t. Many people in life major in minor things!
12. Do you let the words of others affect you? Do you mind what they think of you? Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It’s not what they say to you that’s the problem it’s what you say to yourself after they have stopped talking that’s the problem. Change the way you think.
13. List the words that you use on a consistent basis when you feel let down or annoyed. People use different words to mean the same thing and depending upon the intensity of the word – this will have an effect on your confidence. Instead of saying “I’m enraged about this” say, “I’m a little annoyed”. Make a substitute list for the words that you use. Make sure they are lower in intensity and then use them. You’ll be surprised with the results.
14. At the end of each day list your achievements and successes throughout that day.
15. Be appreciative of what you have to be thankful for in your life right now. Who do you love? Who loves you? Who do you help out?
16. Every morning when you’re in the shower, play over in your head the events in the day as though they have already happened and they were a success. Visualize all of the meetings that you had, the people you talked to, the outcomes you had. Visualize success and confidence and it will be so.
17. Improve your body language. The way that you move your body has a massive impact on your confidence levels. Move your body assertively and walk with your head up, shoulders back and as though you’ve got somewhere very important to go. Feeling low in confidence? Change you body language
18. Emotion is created by motion. As in 17, make sure you move around consistently. This creates energy and gets the blood pumping around you body – it makes you feel better and more confident.
19. Learn to brag about yourself. Yes, you heard me! Talk about your achievements and successes more than you currently are.
20. And finally – You only live once, so any time that you are down just ask yourself in 10 or 20 years time – will what I am worrying about really matter?
Edinburgh Life Coach Ron Mills is dedicated to making your dreams your reality. As a specialist in coaching through the medium of telephone his clients are international. Find out more at: http://www.ron-mills.com
Peak Performers
One of the wonderful by-products of high self-esteem is that you become a "Peak Performer."
Every day you become more aware of your abilities and recognize that opportunities to stretch your capabilities are limitless. You desire change, growth, and challenge, and a healthy self-esteem provides the energy.
Peak performers have more than goals, they have a vision of what their life will mean to themselves and others. Peak performers do not live in the future. Peak performers make sure each step taken in the present keeps them on the road toward their life goal.
Peak Performers Can Say:
1. I am motivated and have a mission with realistic and measurable goals.
2. I accept complete responsibility for everything I think, say, feel, and do.
3. I look for the window of opportunity in every situation and know that I will learn from every experience if I choose.
4. I always help others to do their best, and I encourage everyone to contribute something.
5. I correct my course when I reach an obstacle. This way, when things go wrong, I am still headed in the right direction.
6. I expect and appreciate change. It does not overwhelm me because I am prepared.
7. I stand up for my own opinions and values and respect others.
8. I am able to manage myself. I do not require instruction every step of the way.
9. I am not afraid of making mistakes or of taking reasonable risks.
10. I am my own coach. I engage in positive self-talk and rehearsal.
11. I am a life-long student. I am always ready to learn, and I know growth takes sustained effort.
12. I know myself well and still expect to find hidden talents, resources, strengths, weaknesses, energy, and interests.
13. I respect reality both pleasant and painful.
14. I engage in self-confrontation and do not blame others.
15. I readily forgive others and myself and correct mistakes when possible.
16. I am patient, kind, gentle, and compassionate with myself.
17. I have no need to prove I am better or worse than anybody else.
So how do we keep ourselves running as peak performers? By using
affirmations,setting goals and not procrastinating. Keeping
ourselves in tune by reading motivational and self improvement books.
Surrounding ourselves with bright positive friends. And by not sweating the
small stuff.
Have a confident and positive day,
JD
Declaration of Self Esteem
My Declaration of Self Esteem
I am me.
I am unique. There's not another human being in the whole world like me -- I have my very own fingerprints and I have my very own thoughts. I was not stamped out of a mold like a Coca-Cola top to be the duplicate of another.
I own all of me -- my body, and I can do with it what I choose; my mind, and all of its thoughts and ideas; my feelings, whether joyful or painful.
I own my ideals, my dreams, my hopes, my fantasies, my fears.
I reserve the right to think and feel differently from others and will grant to others their right to thoughts and feelings not identical with my own.
I own all my triumphs and successes. I own also all my failures and mistakes. I am the cause of what I do and am responsible for my own behavior. I will permit myself to be imperfect. When I make mistakes or fail, I will know that I am not the failure -- I am still O.K. -- and I will discard some parts of me that were unfitting and will try new ways.
I will laugh freely and loudly at myself -- a healthy self-affirmation.
I will have fun living inside my skin.
I will remember that the door to everybody's life needs this sigh:
Honor Thyself
I have value and worth.
I am me, and I am O.K.
(Adapted from Self Esteem by Virginia Satir)
Is Your Glass half Full
Optimism is "an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome". It is the philosophical opposite of pessimism. Optimists generally believe that people and events are inherently good, so that most situations work out in the end for the best.
Optimists see the glass as half full the pessimist will see it as half empty.
Optimists believe that regardless of the external world or situation, one should choose to feel good about it and make the most of it.
Optimism is a noun and is a state of having positive beliefs.
Some Synonyms of Optimism: anticipation, assurance, brightness, buoyancy, calmness, certainty, cheer, cheerfulness, confidence, easiness, elation, encouragement, enthusiasm, exhilaration, expectation, good cheer, happiness, hopefulness, idealism, looking on bright side, positivism, rose-colored glasses, , sureness, trust
A few Antonyms would be: doubt, gloom, hopelessness, pessimism
Here are a few quotes on optimism that I have always enjoyed and hope you will also:
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."
Helen Keller
“Optimism: A cheerful frame of mind that enables
a tea kettle to sing though in hot water up to its nose.”
Author Unknown
“The habit of looking on the bright side of every event is worth
more than a thousand pounds a year.”
Samuel Johnson
"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself. "
Lucille Ball
"If I keep a green bough in my heart, the singing bird will come."
Chinese Proverb
“To look up and not down,
To look forward and not back,
To look out and not in, and
To lend a hand.”
Edward Everett Hale
"I discovered I always have choices
and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude."
Judith M. Knowlton
The benefits of optimism:
In recent studies it was also show that have found that people who are optimistic about their health tend to do better. For example, people who are optimistic about heart transplant surgery recover better from that grueling operation. But it's not clear how optimism affects your health — or whether pessimism makes you less healthy.
This study alone should want to make anyone have a more optimistic out look on life.
To sum things up about optimism are the words of a man I have admired for years:
"Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don't hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people."
Zig Ziglar
Have a confident and positive day! Stay optimistic in all you do!
JD
How self confident are you?
I recently ran across this self confidence quiz and thought I would share it with you. Hope you find it as useful as I did. ( Special thanks to Rhonda Rabow)
How self-confidant are you? Most of us think we are pretty self-confidant, yet we often wonder why we aren't getting more out of life. What stops us from taking risks? What keeps us stuck in dead end jobs, or unhappy relationships. Could we possibly be less confidant than we think? Why not take this quiz and find out?
Ask yourselves these questions, and answer with a yes or a no. Then add them up.
1. Do you feel uncomfortable being around other people?
2. Do you something worry that others are criticizing or judging you.
3. Do you find it very intimating to speak up and assert yourself?
4. Do you get very nervous or fearful whenever it is time for your work evaluation?
5. Do you panic when you have to speak in public?
6. Do you find it stressful to use a public bathroom?
7. Do you worry when you think about inviting a friend over for a social outing?
8. Do you find yourself avoiding social situations because of your discomfort being with other people?
9. Do you feel alone, even when surrounded by friends?
10. Do you suffer with sweaty palms, trembling, chest pains, dizziness, lightheadedness, fear of dying, fear of going crazy, fear of losing control, irritability, headaches, frustration, inability to concentrate, difficulty falling asleep?
11. Do you often worry about the "what ifs" of every situation?
12. Do you wonder if you will ever be able to stop worrying?
13. Do people tell you that you should "chill out" and that you worry too much?
14. Do you feel that if you don't do something perfectly, than others will judge you?
15. Do you find yourselves going over things over and over again?
16. Do you focus on the thought that you may have inadvertently hurt someone or yourself, or done something very wrong?
17. Do you worry about having every sort of disease you see on TV or read in a book or hear over the news?
18. Do you find it hard to make decisions and keep on second-guessing yourself?
19. Do you think that others opinions are better or more valuable than your own?
20. Do you find that even when things go well, you can't really let yourself fully enjoy it and start looking for all the possible negatives in the situation?
If you scored "yes" to 6 or more of these questions, you probably have some issues with anxiety and a lack of confidence. The good news is that anxiety is a habit of thinking and all habits can be changed. The question is how motivated are you to do the work?
Unstoppable Confidence
Did you enjoy this quiz? Did your answers surprise you? Let me know what you think.
How self-confidant are you? Most of us think we are pretty self-confidant, yet we often wonder why we aren't getting more out of life. What stops us from taking risks? What keeps us stuck in dead end jobs, or unhappy relationships. Could we possibly be less confidant than we think? Why not take this quiz and find out?
Ask yourselves these questions, and answer with a yes or a no. Then add them up.
1. Do you feel uncomfortable being around other people?
2. Do you something worry that others are criticizing or judging you.
3. Do you find it very intimating to speak up and assert yourself?
4. Do you get very nervous or fearful whenever it is time for your work evaluation?
5. Do you panic when you have to speak in public?
6. Do you find it stressful to use a public bathroom?
7. Do you worry when you think about inviting a friend over for a social outing?
8. Do you find yourself avoiding social situations because of your discomfort being with other people?
9. Do you feel alone, even when surrounded by friends?
10. Do you suffer with sweaty palms, trembling, chest pains, dizziness, lightheadedness, fear of dying, fear of going crazy, fear of losing control, irritability, headaches, frustration, inability to concentrate, difficulty falling asleep?
11. Do you often worry about the "what ifs" of every situation?
12. Do you wonder if you will ever be able to stop worrying?
13. Do people tell you that you should "chill out" and that you worry too much?
14. Do you feel that if you don't do something perfectly, than others will judge you?
15. Do you find yourselves going over things over and over again?
16. Do you focus on the thought that you may have inadvertently hurt someone or yourself, or done something very wrong?
17. Do you worry about having every sort of disease you see on TV or read in a book or hear over the news?
18. Do you find it hard to make decisions and keep on second-guessing yourself?
19. Do you think that others opinions are better or more valuable than your own?
20. Do you find that even when things go well, you can't really let yourself fully enjoy it and start looking for all the possible negatives in the situation?
If you scored "yes" to 6 or more of these questions, you probably have some issues with anxiety and a lack of confidence. The good news is that anxiety is a habit of thinking and all habits can be changed. The question is how motivated are you to do the work?
Unstoppable Confidence
Did you enjoy this quiz? Did your answers surprise you? Let me know what you think.
Rhonda Rabow, M.A.
Author's Bio Rhonda Rabow is an author and a psychotherapist living in Montreal, Quebec Canada. She has over 25 years experience counseling individuals, couples and families facing a variety of life challenges; from parenting, grief, depression, and self-esteem issues, to conflict resolution and marriage counseling. Her approach is empowerment and she accomplishes this by helping her clients find solutions to their problems and teaching them the skills and tools they need to feel back in control of their lives. She has also recently published an e-book called, "Discover the 3 secrets to living happily ever after".
www.helphelpmerhonda.ca
www.rhondarabow.com
Author's Bio Rhonda Rabow is an author and a psychotherapist living in Montreal, Quebec Canada. She has over 25 years experience counseling individuals, couples and families facing a variety of life challenges; from parenting, grief, depression, and self-esteem issues, to conflict resolution and marriage counseling. Her approach is empowerment and she accomplishes this by helping her clients find solutions to their problems and teaching them the skills and tools they need to feel back in control of their lives. She has also recently published an e-book called, "Discover the 3 secrets to living happily ever after".
www.helphelpmerhonda.ca
www.rhondarabow.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rhonda_Rabow
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